FU 8228 B
that's it. yeap.
i must learn to be contend. in this light, i know it will be tough, especially after a year's time, but nevertheless, all things can be cultivated.
i'm thankful for whatever's happened today.
that i recieved my gift, that i got to see you just for that half hour, and for everything else that's happened in the day.
i truly am. thankful.
Monday, July 24, 2006
when the world moved on, i don't say i chose to walk against the flow, i just came to a standstill.
i took time off to take things in differently from i would in the rush of things.
i've re-shifted my priorities, and value of the things i once cherished have been altered.
on the cool side, i passed my driving test. yes, i'm unlearning to walk, it's really quite addictive. i must imagine what goes on in a baby's brain when he first learns to walk.
"i wanna walk.. i wanna move towards that green toy, i want to... *stumbles*.. "
hahaha.. and here i am,
"i don't wanna walk.. i wanna drive there.. i wanna be on my wheels once again.."
on the cooler side, i've got my bike traffic police test this thurs, it's way early in the morning, please pray for me all those whom i can bless as a result of being allowed by the law to bike around. and for those i can't bless directly as a result of that license, please pray for me all the same? =) at least for safety.. hehehe..
i'm thinking, they're just waiting to give it to me.. i just have to put up a good show in the 40mins that those 10 pairs of eyes are staring at me along the designated route.
on the way cool side..ange's back, not for long though, till the 31st only. i think i'll go meet her for supper later.
ok, on the not so cool side, i'm on 3 months excuse from IPPT and physical activities in the SAF because i'm due for a checkup on my PES status. i think i'm downgrading, that's if i can convince the Medical Officer (most likely an NSF as myself) that i ain't going to suck it up and endure the pain as a result of having to train for IPPT, as my NS term is coming to an end. yes, it means that i'll probably never get to go for advancement courses in my NS and that i'll be stuck as a LTA, but oh well, i ain't about to bust my knee cause of the few bouts of 21days ICT that i would wear my rank again.
ok that pretty much sums up what's been happening.
no, do not be deluded that my life's only this much. hahaha, and no i do not profess to be the center of your life, but i know who's the center of mine =)
i took time off to take things in differently from i would in the rush of things.
i've re-shifted my priorities, and value of the things i once cherished have been altered.
on the cool side, i passed my driving test. yes, i'm unlearning to walk, it's really quite addictive. i must imagine what goes on in a baby's brain when he first learns to walk.
"i wanna walk.. i wanna move towards that green toy, i want to... *stumbles*.. "
hahaha.. and here i am,
"i don't wanna walk.. i wanna drive there.. i wanna be on my wheels once again.."
on the cooler side, i've got my bike traffic police test this thurs, it's way early in the morning, please pray for me all those whom i can bless as a result of being allowed by the law to bike around. and for those i can't bless directly as a result of that license, please pray for me all the same? =) at least for safety.. hehehe..
i'm thinking, they're just waiting to give it to me.. i just have to put up a good show in the 40mins that those 10 pairs of eyes are staring at me along the designated route.
on the way cool side..ange's back, not for long though, till the 31st only. i think i'll go meet her for supper later.
ok, on the not so cool side, i'm on 3 months excuse from IPPT and physical activities in the SAF because i'm due for a checkup on my PES status. i think i'm downgrading, that's if i can convince the Medical Officer (most likely an NSF as myself) that i ain't going to suck it up and endure the pain as a result of having to train for IPPT, as my NS term is coming to an end. yes, it means that i'll probably never get to go for advancement courses in my NS and that i'll be stuck as a LTA, but oh well, i ain't about to bust my knee cause of the few bouts of 21days ICT that i would wear my rank again.
ok that pretty much sums up what's been happening.
no, do not be deluded that my life's only this much. hahaha, and no i do not profess to be the center of your life, but i know who's the center of mine =)
Monday, July 17, 2006
My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again
Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me
Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there’s no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise
It’s deeper, it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
It’s deeper it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
than anything my eyes can see
Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again
Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me
Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there’s no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise
It’s deeper, it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
It’s deeper it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
than anything my eyes can see
Friday, July 14, 2006
when i ....
am unable to sleep not knowing you're home because it's past midnight,
get a sick feeling in my gut when i cannot say for sure you're doing ok,
pray feverntly each day that the Lord is giving you comfort inspite of the lessons He wishes to teach,
and yearn for time to past quickly when you're doing something you're not enjoying but for it to come to a standstill when i see you smile,
i know i've fallen..
in love with you.
i love you.
get a sick feeling in my gut when i cannot say for sure you're doing ok,
pray feverntly each day that the Lord is giving you comfort inspite of the lessons He wishes to teach,
and yearn for time to past quickly when you're doing something you're not enjoying but for it to come to a standstill when i see you smile,
i know i've fallen..
in love with you.
i love you.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
I am God.
Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine. Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them.
Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine. Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them.
Monday, June 26, 2006
upcoming dates to take note of:
1 Jul 06 - SAF day.
2 Jul 06 - KPC Youth Led Sunday Service.
18 Jul 06 - Class 3 Traffic Police Test date.
27 Jul 06 - Class 2B Traffic Police Test date.
did i miss out anything? oh yeah, 6 Nov 06 - ORD!!!!!!! hahahahahaha
2 Jul 06 - KPC Youth Led Sunday Service.
18 Jul 06 - Class 3 Traffic Police Test date.
27 Jul 06 - Class 2B Traffic Police Test date.
did i miss out anything? oh yeah, 6 Nov 06 - ORD!!!!!!! hahahahahaha
Thursday, June 22, 2006
due to the lack of vitamins as such i have decided on some changes.
vit C: i shall take orange juice tomorrow, and afternoon too (hopefully the fruits stall is opened when the guys go out to buy afternoon snack)
vit E: i shall run more, or just take bike lessons in the 10-12 slot, and end up burning my forearms, cause the sun burns when you're caught in a jam, which is quite typical of when attempting the U-turn in Ubi.
vit M: i will not be getting the XL 125, decided to get something with a little more horsepower and a smaller chassis. as papa said, it's the land of the rising sun that makes better automobiles in this class in terms of performance and economics. sure, we ain't talking of 1000Cc aprilla bikes, but at general consumers level such as ourselves, honda jap bikes would do fine for now. CBR150 - here i come.
vit C: i shall take orange juice tomorrow, and afternoon too (hopefully the fruits stall is opened when the guys go out to buy afternoon snack)
vit E: i shall run more, or just take bike lessons in the 10-12 slot, and end up burning my forearms, cause the sun burns when you're caught in a jam, which is quite typical of when attempting the U-turn in Ubi.
vit M: i will not be getting the XL 125, decided to get something with a little more horsepower and a smaller chassis. as papa said, it's the land of the rising sun that makes better automobiles in this class in terms of performance and economics. sure, we ain't talking of 1000Cc aprilla bikes, but at general consumers level such as ourselves, honda jap bikes would do fine for now. CBR150 - here i come.
as much as i hate to admit it..
i am wearing thin.
i am trying to take on too many changes at one go.
i am being too ambitious,
and plain foolish to think that drowning myself in activities,
or by simply being busy with the things that get me by in life,
i can ignore that i'm growing weary inside,
that i will always fall short of standards,
and that simply put,
i'm human.
i feel defeated. i truly do.
i am trying to take on too many changes at one go.
i am being too ambitious,
and plain foolish to think that drowning myself in activities,
or by simply being busy with the things that get me by in life,
i can ignore that i'm growing weary inside,
that i will always fall short of standards,
and that simply put,
i'm human.
i feel defeated. i truly do.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
it's no wonder i walk out so easily
sometimes it's the things that we are most comfortable with,
the things we think we can seek comfort from,
and the things that we take for granted in life that distract us.
my room has:
a bed,
the laptop corner,
a desktop,
the never-ending shelves of books,
my pool cues,
and the list goes on.
it comes to a point where i sometimes have to detach myself from this room, and move to quieter corners of the ever-so-congested house like the dining room - which has just recently been cleared up because mama shifted the computer into her room - to do my quiet time. the things which i've come to be ever so familiar with like my computers, sometimes i feel pull me away from what i'm supposed to do; spending time with God, and it's no wonder why i am so comfortable with the idea of just picking up the keys to the house and walk out, yes impromptu outings that would give me short snippets of time during bus and train rides, for my mind to reflect, or just to be still as the world goes by. in my room, my activities keep me going, so much so that i am never still, so much that i never quieten down to listen, to hear, His soft small voice.
the things we think we can seek comfort from,
and the things that we take for granted in life that distract us.
my room has:
a bed,
the laptop corner,
a desktop,
the never-ending shelves of books,
my pool cues,
and the list goes on.
it comes to a point where i sometimes have to detach myself from this room, and move to quieter corners of the ever-so-congested house like the dining room - which has just recently been cleared up because mama shifted the computer into her room - to do my quiet time. the things which i've come to be ever so familiar with like my computers, sometimes i feel pull me away from what i'm supposed to do; spending time with God, and it's no wonder why i am so comfortable with the idea of just picking up the keys to the house and walk out, yes impromptu outings that would give me short snippets of time during bus and train rides, for my mind to reflect, or just to be still as the world goes by. in my room, my activities keep me going, so much so that i am never still, so much that i never quieten down to listen, to hear, His soft small voice.
one step closer to the edge
nah.. closer to getting my 2B license. heheh, i cleared lesson 7!!!! yay! so now i'm on lesson 8, and i'm expecting positively to do that lesson twice, after which if i pass, then i can book my TP test. heehee. i can really consider the bike now, and i'm still working out how much i would like to pay for my bike if mom or dad aren't happy about the price of the bike i wish to get.
here's the baby i wanna get =)
hopefully mama doesn't jump at the price we're going to have to fork out, but since i spoke to Barry about installment plans, and how the difference compared to cars is very very huge - which is a good thing - so i think she'll probably soften up. heehee
here's the baby i wanna get =)
hopefully mama doesn't jump at the price we're going to have to fork out, but since i spoke to Barry about installment plans, and how the difference compared to cars is very very huge - which is a good thing - so i think she'll probably soften up. heehee
Sunday, June 11, 2006
i'm stuck at home on a sunday morning/afternoon because i'm supposed to be at work, but i'm on medical exmeption from work due to a nose that runs/leaks, and a throat that is sore.
as i'm checking up some biblical facts online, i'm watching the WC'06 breakfast show. i'm amazed at how the world comes together to watch an event like these in a fever, one that burns so hot i wonder would there ever be a time when people would be ever so passionate for God.
well, as all questions should start, i ask, wherein lie my role. what can you do to play your part? what can we do together to inch closer towards a reality as such?
as i'm checking up some biblical facts online, i'm watching the WC'06 breakfast show. i'm amazed at how the world comes together to watch an event like these in a fever, one that burns so hot i wonder would there ever be a time when people would be ever so passionate for God.
well, as all questions should start, i ask, wherein lie my role. what can you do to play your part? what can we do together to inch closer towards a reality as such?
Saturday, June 10, 2006
justice is needed here!
please bug me to put into writing what i've gone through this week with God. it would be too much of a waste to let it be eroded with time in memory.
i must capture the lessons learnt, that i might relook at them every now and then.
i must capture the lessons learnt, that i might relook at them every now and then.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
i have a disturbingly blatant inability to:
1. swallow my pride/contain the criticism,
2. love people the way Jesus would,
3. put into action head knowledge that proves easier to merely understand.
For starters, let's work on making it less blatant.
~For a man is made inward out, and actions would speak of the true state of the soul contained within~
1. swallow my pride/contain the criticism,
2. love people the way Jesus would,
3. put into action head knowledge that proves easier to merely understand.
For starters, let's work on making it less blatant.
~For a man is made inward out, and actions would speak of the true state of the soul contained within~
Saturday, May 27, 2006
my eyes are tired, tired from that saturation of those familiar colours; yellow, blue, red, pink, orange, green, brown, black and then yellow with white.
well, the hectic schedule is underway now, so be it. i'm not affected by the work, somehow the adrenaline just pumps and after i hand over, my whole mental and emotional self just collapses. i'm missing You, and you too. some might say i'm choosing to spend too much time with my spliced-baby, but it's my alternative. trust me, if i really had the choice, i would be spending time with you.
i'm tired. i was so tired last night my legs were cramping up just walking to my bathroom from my bedroom. i hope the sleep last night did me good. i'm sure the racket downstairs that celebrates someone's entry to hell isn't doing me any good, it's irritating.
well, the hectic schedule is underway now, so be it. i'm not affected by the work, somehow the adrenaline just pumps and after i hand over, my whole mental and emotional self just collapses. i'm missing You, and you too. some might say i'm choosing to spend too much time with my spliced-baby, but it's my alternative. trust me, if i really had the choice, i would be spending time with you.
i'm tired. i was so tired last night my legs were cramping up just walking to my bathroom from my bedroom. i hope the sleep last night did me good. i'm sure the racket downstairs that celebrates someone's entry to hell isn't doing me any good, it's irritating.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
random accomplishments or the lack of them
well... i've:
1. hoover the living room area, haven't done up the whole house yet
2. ran today, feeling good about it, not eaten much today either
3. cleared my DVD serial all the way till the last episode
4. gotten my teams more or less settled, less a few souls who aren't convicted which areas to serve
but.. i've not:
1. settled mama's mobo problem
2. returned Shaun the 50bucks i owe him, cause he's been away (he's coming back in an hour)
3. work for the past 6 days, looking forward to going back so as to clear this cycle so that sat can come quickly. i'm looking forward to it for 2 major reasons, one cause i would get to spend time with love ones over lunch, and cause i would get to serve this month on the drums. i'm going to clean up the cymbals with the new toy i got too.. hehehe, i'm excited
4. gone for biking/driving lessons for some time now; the next one's 211615H May 06.
1. hoover the living room area, haven't done up the whole house yet
2. ran today, feeling good about it, not eaten much today either
3. cleared my DVD serial all the way till the last episode
4. gotten my teams more or less settled, less a few souls who aren't convicted which areas to serve
but.. i've not:
1. settled mama's mobo problem
2. returned Shaun the 50bucks i owe him, cause he's been away (he's coming back in an hour)
3. work for the past 6 days, looking forward to going back so as to clear this cycle so that sat can come quickly. i'm looking forward to it for 2 major reasons, one cause i would get to spend time with love ones over lunch, and cause i would get to serve this month on the drums. i'm going to clean up the cymbals with the new toy i got too.. hehehe, i'm excited
4. gone for biking/driving lessons for some time now; the next one's 211615H May 06.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
things i have to do:
1.hoover the whole house, including all the cushions - which would probably take 3 hours or more when mom and shaun are gone, so i intend to do it on thurs morning before night shift.
2. prepare my bible study for my kids although i won't be seeing them this week, it's really talking to God and reading His word i want to do.
3. pray lots.
1.hoover the whole house, including all the cushions - which would probably take 3 hours or more when mom and shaun are gone, so i intend to do it on thurs morning before night shift.
2. prepare my bible study for my kids although i won't be seeing them this week, it's really talking to God and reading His word i want to do.
3. pray lots.
Monday, May 01, 2006
incessant talk
and no conclusion. that's the worst kind of gathering anyone can go through.
hmmm.. differences will always be there. whether or not to let them complement each other, or to result in conflict, yes indeed the choice is ours.
oh well, i've had enough differences for a week. leave me alone.
hmmm.. differences will always be there. whether or not to let them complement each other, or to result in conflict, yes indeed the choice is ours.
oh well, i've had enough differences for a week. leave me alone.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
time.. where did it all go?
ok, here's a heads up for what's to come in the near future.
18 Jul Class 3 Traffic Police Test - AKA driving license test date.
May to June - Class 2B lessons and gearing up for TP.
things to take note of:
Call uncle Meng Kim about 50th anniversary celebration.
Email KuoYong about pubs team for Youth-led service.
Talk to Shaun about YLS after his exams on wed (next week), before he leaves for China.
Lotsa prayer for the new agendas/rules/disciplines set in place.
i ask myself where all my time's gone.. *points finger*.. there it is..
18 Jul Class 3 Traffic Police Test - AKA driving license test date.
May to June - Class 2B lessons and gearing up for TP.
things to take note of:
Call uncle Meng Kim about 50th anniversary celebration.
Email KuoYong about pubs team for Youth-led service.
Talk to Shaun about YLS after his exams on wed (next week), before he leaves for China.
Lotsa prayer for the new agendas/rules/disciplines set in place.
i ask myself where all my time's gone.. *points finger*.. there it is..
Friday, April 21, 2006
words vs actions; apology vs amendments
i'm not about to give a lecture on this.
i've not such interest to.
i have learnt, that in times like these as often, an apology might expedite the reconciliation, but when i ain't exactly in desperate need of it, i rather work on the actions that should happen after the apology rather than waste my time, energy, emotions and what not trying to anticipate the right moment to apologise.
cleared my load of clothes that required to be pressed, won't need to mop the floor till next week, and till then, don't expect anymore from me as i won't from you either.
i bled my emotions for this courage, and it was a poor substitute, but it was the best i could give..
i've not such interest to.
i have learnt, that in times like these as often, an apology might expedite the reconciliation, but when i ain't exactly in desperate need of it, i rather work on the actions that should happen after the apology rather than waste my time, energy, emotions and what not trying to anticipate the right moment to apologise.
cleared my load of clothes that required to be pressed, won't need to mop the floor till next week, and till then, don't expect anymore from me as i won't from you either.
i bled my emotions for this courage, and it was a poor substitute, but it was the best i could give..