well, it was definitely refreshing to be able to play with someone who actually understands the game so much better.
it helped that she had her own equipment, and she's a better than average player.
serious about her game, not just some social player who plays to look cool.
i was quite turned off by the two girls i saw playing whilst waiting for my table. sigh, but then again, i don't know them, and i can't judge.
hmmm.. should be playing tonight again. hope i can play well tonight again.
the left portion of my face's hurting behind the eye, some muscle cramp of some sort. darn.. it's better after the nap, but it's still contributing to the headache.
torrential blessings. i cannot imagine what it would be like for Noah's generation who never saw rain, and were warned that a great flood would arise from 40days and nights of rain. hmmm.. logic sometimes gets in the way, but maybe it was meant to do so, so that His glory can be manifested.
another week of lectures, darn. hope i can settle down quickly to study.
i must!
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
agreeing to disagree
what a joke,
that i ate lunch and felt full for dinner.
that i made a decision to join my close friends for a movie, and feel guilty for it.
that i bothered to reply a message even amidst the discomfort.
that i force myself to believe i'm happy with the way things are, when i'm downcasted everytime i realise the seconds ticking by, add on to the time length that i don't know how you're doing.
------------------------------------
shrek 2 was good.
the company was good, thank you ladies.
the funny scenes were really good, thank God for laughter, and for the means that i could have watched it.
next few movies on the WANTED list:
1. Van Helsing
2. Troy
3. The day after tomorrow
gosh, the first two are like OLD!!!!! but i still have not caught them.. and i wonder why..
-----------------------------------
thank You Lord for music, both christian and non-christian music.
the good oldies that sing of love,
the newer sappy ones like 'the reason' that sing of love too,
and the ones by your children singing about Your Love. =)
mom just bought me my new CD-Rs, good ones, cause i've learnt which ones to get, thankfully. hope they work even better with my player this time, not like the Sony ones. i mean, they're ok for normal CDs and for those who can't hear the difference in their music, but i can, and it matters to me. so i'm thankful. yes.
i've been listening to my music at 40% the volume. need to preserve my hearing.
i'm going deaf with my drumming according to some people, and some personal observation.
----------------------------------
if this portion speaks to you, please respond, either here or in your own updates.
you surprised me plesantly before, by replying to this question i once asked.
i ask it once again, in hope that you would respond.
do you still read these updates?
i learnt that something did happen, and things weren't right for you, no particular idea about what exactly though, that's why i tried calling to ask. didn't get through then, still haven't gotten through up till today. i don't want to force you to tell me your problems, neither do i want to force you to talk. i ask to know whether you're doing fine, but i realise that too ain't my right. you don't owe me the knowledge of your well-being. the choice is yours. i am upset about this friendship, or rather the lack of growth of it. if you're busy, i understand. but if you're telling me you wish to stop participating in this friendship, then please let me know.
----------------------------------
2 more days of school, and then the break. but since the first week's going to be back in school, make that another 10 days then. haha.
hmmm.. i have to report for TAF twice a week in the holidays at 7am. gosh. but oh well...
i cleared my NAPFA!!! hahaha yay!! praise the Lord =)
but i think i'll be retaking it in july again to do better.
pride comes before a fall, i understood that in the small lesson You taught to thwart my ego about my running. it ain't fantastic, no doubt it's better than average, or the expected, but it's still got room for improvment, and absolutely no room for such pride. thank you Lord.
---------------------------------
that's all folks for now, dinner, and tuts, and QT! yay!
**looking forward to joining izzy at LE again this week, finally get to go back there after 3 weeks of unexpected plans, and duties back at KPC.
that i ate lunch and felt full for dinner.
that i made a decision to join my close friends for a movie, and feel guilty for it.
that i bothered to reply a message even amidst the discomfort.
that i force myself to believe i'm happy with the way things are, when i'm downcasted everytime i realise the seconds ticking by, add on to the time length that i don't know how you're doing.
------------------------------------
shrek 2 was good.
the company was good, thank you ladies.
the funny scenes were really good, thank God for laughter, and for the means that i could have watched it.
next few movies on the WANTED list:
1. Van Helsing
2. Troy
3. The day after tomorrow
gosh, the first two are like OLD!!!!! but i still have not caught them.. and i wonder why..
-----------------------------------
thank You Lord for music, both christian and non-christian music.
the good oldies that sing of love,
the newer sappy ones like 'the reason' that sing of love too,
and the ones by your children singing about Your Love. =)
mom just bought me my new CD-Rs, good ones, cause i've learnt which ones to get, thankfully. hope they work even better with my player this time, not like the Sony ones. i mean, they're ok for normal CDs and for those who can't hear the difference in their music, but i can, and it matters to me. so i'm thankful. yes.
i've been listening to my music at 40% the volume. need to preserve my hearing.
i'm going deaf with my drumming according to some people, and some personal observation.
----------------------------------
if this portion speaks to you, please respond, either here or in your own updates.
you surprised me plesantly before, by replying to this question i once asked.
i ask it once again, in hope that you would respond.
do you still read these updates?
i learnt that something did happen, and things weren't right for you, no particular idea about what exactly though, that's why i tried calling to ask. didn't get through then, still haven't gotten through up till today. i don't want to force you to tell me your problems, neither do i want to force you to talk. i ask to know whether you're doing fine, but i realise that too ain't my right. you don't owe me the knowledge of your well-being. the choice is yours. i am upset about this friendship, or rather the lack of growth of it. if you're busy, i understand. but if you're telling me you wish to stop participating in this friendship, then please let me know.
----------------------------------
2 more days of school, and then the break. but since the first week's going to be back in school, make that another 10 days then. haha.
hmmm.. i have to report for TAF twice a week in the holidays at 7am. gosh. but oh well...
i cleared my NAPFA!!! hahaha yay!! praise the Lord =)
but i think i'll be retaking it in july again to do better.
pride comes before a fall, i understood that in the small lesson You taught to thwart my ego about my running. it ain't fantastic, no doubt it's better than average, or the expected, but it's still got room for improvment, and absolutely no room for such pride. thank you Lord.
---------------------------------
that's all folks for now, dinner, and tuts, and QT! yay!
**looking forward to joining izzy at LE again this week, finally get to go back there after 3 weeks of unexpected plans, and duties back at KPC.
Saturday, May 22, 2004
my imagination runs, wild maybe for that matter, but it's got no right to in the first place.
i can't help that it hurts, when you act the way you do.
it's you being you, and that's why i accept it.
in a friend's words, doing something right doesn't mean you have to feel good about it.
it's this case. you see, the right thing to do, would be to accept, leave you alone, and just step aside, in hope that i could inch closer if circumstances allow it in future. yeah, that's what i try to do, but whether i feel good about it, is another thing.
it hurts, it really does.
panadol, ponstan, and painkillers, can put me to sleep, but why do i need sleep when the pain's only painful when i'm awake?
i can't help that it hurts, when you act the way you do.
it's you being you, and that's why i accept it.
in a friend's words, doing something right doesn't mean you have to feel good about it.
it's this case. you see, the right thing to do, would be to accept, leave you alone, and just step aside, in hope that i could inch closer if circumstances allow it in future. yeah, that's what i try to do, but whether i feel good about it, is another thing.
it hurts, it really does.
panadol, ponstan, and painkillers, can put me to sleep, but why do i need sleep when the pain's only painful when i'm awake?
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
bridges are built to bridge gaps, as words are spoken to bring points across
although i'm still on MC officially today, and i ain't feeling exactly fine, i'm really glad i made the decision to go down to school today, and get my blazer for the choir concert.
i was happy to be of help to the choir, i did it for my friends, and because duty called, but nevertheless, the smiles made it all worth while.
after the concert, was the most enjoyable part of my evening. it was a short time as compared to the long day i had, but nevertheless, it was the most cherished moment of the day. =)
a flash, smiles, and a moment captured in time.
thank you.
it was my pleasure to carry your stuff for you in view that you were all dolled up, hope the persistence the second time i offered didn't turn you off.
it's been another day i must thank the Lord for, for all that has happened, and all that hasn't.
to you, yes you, goodnight and sweet dreams =)
night people
i was happy to be of help to the choir, i did it for my friends, and because duty called, but nevertheless, the smiles made it all worth while.
after the concert, was the most enjoyable part of my evening. it was a short time as compared to the long day i had, but nevertheless, it was the most cherished moment of the day. =)
a flash, smiles, and a moment captured in time.
thank you.
it was my pleasure to carry your stuff for you in view that you were all dolled up, hope the persistence the second time i offered didn't turn you off.
it's been another day i must thank the Lord for, for all that has happened, and all that hasn't.
to you, yes you, goodnight and sweet dreams =)
night people
Friday, May 14, 2004
asking need not always end with recieving
ask and you shall recieve.
no, i asked, thrice (up till date lah), and i never did recieve, not that receiving in this context is of much relevance.
ok, i'm misquoting the Word, but yeah, it's for comic relief. spare me the preaching about it if you're thinking of lecturing me on this yeah?
i'm listening to 92.4FM nice music lah. soft and quiet.
hmmm.. had dinner with a friend near my place today. was quite surprised actually. didn't really plan for it, she just happened to be in the area, that's why.
my knees have been re-busted, and my nafa's like next tuesday. i'm so dead. =\ hope the weekend would allow me to rest it.
no, i asked, thrice (up till date lah), and i never did recieve, not that receiving in this context is of much relevance.
ok, i'm misquoting the Word, but yeah, it's for comic relief. spare me the preaching about it if you're thinking of lecturing me on this yeah?
i'm listening to 92.4FM nice music lah. soft and quiet.
hmmm.. had dinner with a friend near my place today. was quite surprised actually. didn't really plan for it, she just happened to be in the area, that's why.
my knees have been re-busted, and my nafa's like next tuesday. i'm so dead. =\ hope the weekend would allow me to rest it.
Saturday, May 08, 2004
another day
haha, there's a song by Lene Marlin with this title, but no, i'm not going to type out the lyrics, and neither was i thinking about this song.
it's another morning, one that i woke up to.
it's another blessing, a manifestation of His grace,
that i should recieve another 24hours worth of sunshine, fresh air, love, friendship,
alongside the same 24hours worth of stress, fatigue, anger, tension, and unpleasantries,
but one compliments the other,
for what would the day be without the night?
or darkness without the presence of His light?
thank you Lord for the week being what it has been =)
haircut appointment with Fiona
pool
movie with lump (maybe we'll be spotted together by norman and he'll start screaming) hahaha
and dinner with a few people whom i cherish (don't know who'll be there though; the queen's going, piglet's mother's bday though, lump's going, don't know about the rest)
just had a good breakfast with my brother. =)
that's all for now.
it's another morning, one that i woke up to.
it's another blessing, a manifestation of His grace,
that i should recieve another 24hours worth of sunshine, fresh air, love, friendship,
alongside the same 24hours worth of stress, fatigue, anger, tension, and unpleasantries,
but one compliments the other,
for what would the day be without the night?
or darkness without the presence of His light?
thank you Lord for the week being what it has been =)
haircut appointment with Fiona
pool
movie with lump (maybe we'll be spotted together by norman and he'll start screaming) hahaha
and dinner with a few people whom i cherish (don't know who'll be there though; the queen's going, piglet's mother's bday though, lump's going, don't know about the rest)
just had a good breakfast with my brother. =)
that's all for now.
Thursday, May 06, 2004
what really matters
the people/things that can get you the most worked up, upset, or emotionally charged up, are those you hold closest to your heart.
the value you place upon these people/things, is what makes them who they are to you. so don't be upset that you're angry with someone or be unhappy as a result of someone being unwell. read between, and beyond the lines. it shows that you truly care for them, and that they do actually mean quite a bit to you.
it was a case of miscommunication, and a friend heard wrongly, but i ain't going to deny that it did affect me as a whole.
haha, i failed my 2BL5 assessment test, but what i learnt after that made the failure seem miniscule. hahaha.. =) yay!
i'm on to a section of the night i'm happy about, talking to Him, after which i would do my tuts. have all 3 subs to do, but i'm putting physics last today. hahahah =p
the value you place upon these people/things, is what makes them who they are to you. so don't be upset that you're angry with someone or be unhappy as a result of someone being unwell. read between, and beyond the lines. it shows that you truly care for them, and that they do actually mean quite a bit to you.
it was a case of miscommunication, and a friend heard wrongly, but i ain't going to deny that it did affect me as a whole.
haha, i failed my 2BL5 assessment test, but what i learnt after that made the failure seem miniscule. hahaha.. =) yay!
i'm on to a section of the night i'm happy about, talking to Him, after which i would do my tuts. have all 3 subs to do, but i'm putting physics last today. hahahah =p
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
short and sweet, that's what i hope this entry would be.
i'm talking to Him again, and i'm really happy about it! =)
i've started writing again, not coming up with fantastic poems and what not, but just writing to myself in my journal. the pen and paper style you know? =)
i'm running lots, but i'm happy. hope to do well for NAFA, and need to lose more weight.
tired, but will keep going.
need to take my vitamins and supplements regularly man.
have been practising on my piano, glad i'm doing so.
night earth
i'm talking to Him again, and i'm really happy about it! =)
i've started writing again, not coming up with fantastic poems and what not, but just writing to myself in my journal. the pen and paper style you know? =)
i'm running lots, but i'm happy. hope to do well for NAFA, and need to lose more weight.
tired, but will keep going.
need to take my vitamins and supplements regularly man.
have been practising on my piano, glad i'm doing so.
night earth
Sunday, May 02, 2004
saying sorry when you have to makes it all better. learn to throw your pride away, and things get settled easier, because then you're slow to anger, quick to listen, and willing to accept other viewpoints.
the last time i said sorry, was about 2 hours ago to my dad. this apology wasn't an easy way out to just escape the threats, and to ease this tension at the moment. it was made after thought. i know i was in the wrong, and i wanted to do something about it.
i've been selfish, no doubt about it.
i also said sorry to Him today, and i had a good part of the day in LE today.
i'm thinking, and i'm asking for directions.
here's the plan for certain things for now:
1. i'll do my QT everyday, starting at about 930 give and take. i've not been close to Him, that's probably why everything's out of order. it's chaotic.
2. 4 times practise on the piano at least weekly, 25-30mins per session. need to stop wasting money going for lessons and not practising.
3. will help out with the clothes on fri, sat and sunday evenings. this is the minimum. yeap.
i understand how love for your family can drive you to do things for them, even though it's contrary to what's been agreed upon, even when your well-being's being infringed upon. i didn't learn that through first hand experience, i learnt it through the tears my dad shed.
so many things i must admit, that need to be done, but seriously, i don't think any of them are as important as the few that really do matter.
i need to start talking to Him again, spending time in this relationship can only be right.
i need to start loving again, not myself, but others.
i need to get my work back into a disciplined routine.
i guess with this 3things in place, the other parts of my life would more or less fall into place. friends are included in that 2nd point. =) and the people i love more so too.
dinner, and then on to the part of the evening, which i'm looking forward to. time to go at my tuts, and spending time with Him. =)
the last time i said sorry, was about 2 hours ago to my dad. this apology wasn't an easy way out to just escape the threats, and to ease this tension at the moment. it was made after thought. i know i was in the wrong, and i wanted to do something about it.
i've been selfish, no doubt about it.
i also said sorry to Him today, and i had a good part of the day in LE today.
i'm thinking, and i'm asking for directions.
here's the plan for certain things for now:
1. i'll do my QT everyday, starting at about 930 give and take. i've not been close to Him, that's probably why everything's out of order. it's chaotic.
2. 4 times practise on the piano at least weekly, 25-30mins per session. need to stop wasting money going for lessons and not practising.
3. will help out with the clothes on fri, sat and sunday evenings. this is the minimum. yeap.
i understand how love for your family can drive you to do things for them, even though it's contrary to what's been agreed upon, even when your well-being's being infringed upon. i didn't learn that through first hand experience, i learnt it through the tears my dad shed.
so many things i must admit, that need to be done, but seriously, i don't think any of them are as important as the few that really do matter.
i need to start talking to Him again, spending time in this relationship can only be right.
i need to start loving again, not myself, but others.
i need to get my work back into a disciplined routine.
i guess with this 3things in place, the other parts of my life would more or less fall into place. friends are included in that 2nd point. =) and the people i love more so too.
dinner, and then on to the part of the evening, which i'm looking forward to. time to go at my tuts, and spending time with Him. =)
Saturday, May 01, 2004
lots to say, more to hear, and even more to think about.
i have always believed that most knowledge is gained from reading. that was what drove me to start reading when i was young. i ain't as much into reading as my sister is, i think she's the benchmark. and i ain't kidding about her being good in english.
i've read some stuff, and it's invoked feelings in me i can't describe.
i've listened to some music, which has caused me to feel quite sappy, and sad.
i've gone through my day's worth of activities, and with today's, i feel _______. i don't have a word for it, i'm sorry. i played pool, it was good. i watched a show, it was enjoyable. i don't want to rate the movie, but i do know that i felt good spending that time. i'm reminded that the only thing i really own, is my time. maybe it's cause i ain't giving enough time to my family, that's why they hate me, and that's why they're treating me this way. i've always thought that i've been blessed with a good family, i still think so, but i'm starting to think maybe it would be better off without me. i'm not suggesting i run away, and no, i'm not being pessimistic, or cynical for that matter. it's just that i've seen that i'm a blot on a white sheet, and it would be more beautiful without me. call it running away? i don't know, it's up to you if you want to judge.
i wrote stuff today, and it's got me thinking. i hope i'll write more.
i'm tired, i'm very tired.
night earth.
i've read some stuff, and it's invoked feelings in me i can't describe.
i've listened to some music, which has caused me to feel quite sappy, and sad.
i've gone through my day's worth of activities, and with today's, i feel _______. i don't have a word for it, i'm sorry. i played pool, it was good. i watched a show, it was enjoyable. i don't want to rate the movie, but i do know that i felt good spending that time. i'm reminded that the only thing i really own, is my time. maybe it's cause i ain't giving enough time to my family, that's why they hate me, and that's why they're treating me this way. i've always thought that i've been blessed with a good family, i still think so, but i'm starting to think maybe it would be better off without me. i'm not suggesting i run away, and no, i'm not being pessimistic, or cynical for that matter. it's just that i've seen that i'm a blot on a white sheet, and it would be more beautiful without me. call it running away? i don't know, it's up to you if you want to judge.
i wrote stuff today, and it's got me thinking. i hope i'll write more.
i'm tired, i'm very tired.
night earth.