Gareth Gates - Say it isn't so


Skies are dark it's time for rain
Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterdays
Wipe the tears you hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow

How can I be smiling like before
When baby, you don't love me anymore

Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so

Ten to five atleast we tried
We're still alive but hope just died
As they close the door behind you
Whistle blows and tons of steel
Shake the ground beneath the wheels
As I wish I never found you

How can I be smiling when you're gone
Will I be strong enough to carry on

Miles and miles to go before I can say,
Before I can lay my love for you to sleep
Oh, darling oh
I got miles and miles to go
Before anyone will ever hear
Me laugh again

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this is posted with some in mind. if it speaks to you, let it. =)

oh, for those of you who still don't know, the O level results will be out on friday, and the A level ones will be out one week later. all the best to everyone recieving their results.

i'm hungry, when you had watermelon and water for dinner, maybe you would be too. but it ain't of concern to me.
i'm wondering what's it like to be dead. will i meet 5 people? 50people? or will i meet God?

good night.

i'm tired. i am. some say i sound tired, others say i look tired, and many ask if i'm alright. i'm not ok, i'm tired.

i draw on His strength, and i know i'll pull thru with it, but what i'm afraid of is that i'll stop one day, stop in my tracks, stop dead, and yeah, drop.

a few people want to meet up, namely cynthia and ms yeo, over what i have no idea. i tried asking someone out, but yeah, but that person isn't available on sat.

i tried, i'm tired, and yeah, if you're asking, i'm still roy.

was back home early at 6pm.

got some council stuff to do today, hope i can churn out the list by 9pm. then i can start on my tutorials. will practise my piano too.

i owe Mr Kuan my vectors 2 assigment, and Complex numbers assignment 1. hahaha, but i will hand them up tomorrow as i promised. =)

i'm starting to appreciate the lecture-tutorial system for what it's really worth.
lecture and lecturers -
you don't get to choose your lecturer, but they rotate!with this, at least everyone gets the same lecturers for that chapter, and you're not stuck with one teacher (be it a fantastic one or otherwise) like that in sec sch. count your blessings people!
tutorials and tutors -
well, you don't get to choose them either, and you're pretty much stuck with them, but i'm thankful for mine. it takes a calling to teach, so my advise to you people out there although i don't have qualifications as a teacher to say this, but i speak as a student. when you become a teacher because you're bonded with the government, and you don't enjoy it, it wears you down. it gets to you, and you get to your students.

i will talk to Him later, and i'm so thankful i spoke to some today, although i would have wished circumstances would have allowed us to talk longer.
will complete my tutorials and assignments later on too.
and i did something for a council friend today. =)

two essays due each week for Mdm Rohayati, first topic on the list is Money & Prices. thankful she's so willing to help me! =)

hope i can come back online later on. papa's sending me to sch tomorrow again. yay!
that's all for now people. ciao.

Phil 4:6-7

ok, it's been quite some time now, but yeah, i've been busy.

i've learnt to feel what it means to see others break down, namely my dearest darling christina, (my really dear council mate lah, she's got her boyfriend, so don't go thinking rubbish yeah? hahah) and the council on the whole too, with the bonding session we had on sat. it was a good time of soul baring to each other, and i'm thankful i saw the less sacarstic, the more emotional side of ms yong.

i must admit, i ain't really close to her, or as close as i've been to ms ee when she was still the council 1st TA, but yeah, things change, and we have to learn to adapt.

i'm learning new things each day, about others, and about myself too.
i lost 1.5kg as registered on the sch weighing machine, and i'm about another 1.5kg from getting out of taf i believe.

i like that short period of waiting. it's hard for me to speak into someone's face, but i'm learning, and i was comfortable doing so just now, speaking to you. thank you. =)

i) i will talk to God EVERYDAY
ii) i will do my tutorials EVERYDAY
iii) i will do AT LEAST one thing for the betterment of my council each day, and pray He guide me to lead them the way He wants me to.

those are my 3 pebbles. they're blue, nice colour, and they're on my desk.
i got my table planner, will go fill it in later if i've got the time.
that's all for today. goodnight people.

Ms yeo gave me a precious moments bookmark, and it says 'high hopes', she told me not to give up.

wj: thanks for listening to all the crap i told you. and apologies for wasting your time.

to the human race (the degenerating portion of it): where are we headed? are you guys going to hell? i'll see you, from above, heaven that is, if a definition of heaven's a vector of which direction matters, cause i'll be UP there, and you'll be DOWN there.

good night all.

what good does it do when i study for my tests, and end up failing all my A level subs? i'm so screwed. i'm so lost, and i'm so tired.
Ms Yeo commented that i'm giving too much of myself to the school, and i guess she implied that if this goes on, i'm going to screw myself up. you know what shocks me? what shocked me is that a teacher said that. i ain't going to deny that sometimes council does get in the way of my personal life which includes studies. it's tiring. yes it is. some things i guess i now regret saying, some jobs i regret undertaking.

may be flying to melbourne with my sister this weekend to help her with her lugguage, it's still a maybe-thingy, not confirmed.

goodnight you all people out there.

*does anyone die of caffeine overdose? cause i think i'm going to soon if it works that way. not that i'm going to cut down on my coffee intake or my supplements for that matter.

hmmm.. is it depression i'm falling into?

i don't understand how the cheerful day of messaging a new friend could turn around so much, when i just suddenly felt the way i did at 6plus on the way home, because of somethings that have happened.

let's get some facts straight
- 40% overweight
- eating much less
- up-ing my exercise, and still going at it, because of taf
- not fit
- not happy with a number of things, yet i'm really glad some things have taken place
- disappointed in a friend who doesn't bother doing anything after i thought maybe there was hope of salvaging the friendship
- glad i've made a new friend, maybe this time friendship would be one of the better ones like some that God has already blessed me with? =)

so many things in this world tell me that i can do without others, and maybe even without love. i know that's not true, not only cause of the way i am, but also God didn't create me to be alone. even being in His company and love, is itself not being alone, or without love.
yet with opening up to friends, and caring, comes so much hurt?
i know i ain't exactly some guy who makes girls turn heads cause of my looks, but i'm myself, and i can't help it if you can't accept me, just stop making me hate myself would you? i feel like crying, i seriously do. i haven't done so in a while, and i'm tired of not crying, of showing that i'm strong when i've got my weaknesses too. why the post president? why the terms 'boss' and 'lao ban'? why the high expectations? why is it the people closest to my heart are the ones who hurt me the most?

i won't tell you i'm going to jump off, although i'm pretty sure with my grossly overweight physique i would sustain some injuries at the very least. i won't tell you i'm going to die from an overdose of anything cause all the medicine i have at home's pretty mild, and a stomach pump would take care of it. but i would tell you i'm dying inside, and yes, i am. friendship week, talenttime, orientation, rally and elections, investiture, and a levels, prom night, ns, work, maybe the church bells, and then the coffin. a hymn or two would be nice, and then i'm going back to where i was supposed to go all this while. is it coming anytime soon?

ok, i will take dinner tonight, cause i need to stay up late.
i'm not hungry, but i'm eating cause many people have asked me to do so.
could someone tell me what's wrong with not eating? besides, i've got one big belly of fats to draw from. =p

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haha, i will take two meals a day from now. i'll either eat during recess, or during my lunch break, and dinner at home. if not my mother would come down on me about this. =yes, i want to lose weight, and some of you might think i'm killing myself, but i don't think so. i think i'm saving myself, weird it may seem, but i don't think i'm doing anything bad lah. =)

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godma: i just wanna tell you i love you. *huggie*, although i know you don't read this, i want to thank God for you, and i think i'm the luckiest god-son alive. =)
godpa: not forgetting you too. =) hahaha, love you lots, and i miss going out with you, although it can't really be helped that you're so busy with rehearsals and me with my studies and school and council etc. let's go out for lunch someday after church? =)

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for those of you who are wondering, my godpa and godma ain't a married couple. =p hahahaha. =)
hmmm.. but yeah, that's about how much i have to say for now. take care all.

hey hey everyone! hahaha, it's nearly 1 in the morning, and i've got 2 tests later on, math and physics.

i just finished studying, thus i feel happy! yay! and the best part is, i did my QT! hehehe, spoke to Him, and i know He was there listening to me. i'm waiting for His advice on certain things, but i know it all works out in His time.

i'm human too, thus i need sleep, and truly, how fragile the human body is, and yet we think we are superb in comparison to everything else. sigh, how often we forget that comparison is only possible with a reference point? if you're comparing yourself to animals who don't even have wills, of course you seem a supernatural being, but try bench-marking yourself against Him, and you would be greatly humbled. i choose not to be conceited, so i opted for the latter. i hope you all would do so too one day, but in His time.

All things work for the good of the glory of God, so worry not for tomorrow, for today has it worries enough for it's own.

good night all =)

i'm in the school library. hmmm.. it's wednesday afternoon, and i'm still in school. this is bad, cause i don't think i'm supposed to doing this in front of all my juniors. hahaha, this is crap. but who cares? =p

i think i should stop here. haha, enjoy the day of what's left of it you all people out there. =)

Mood: mildly disappointed
Music: Coldplay - In my place

-tempted to eat magnum ice-cream, but don't want to put basketball just now to waste, shall resist-

the world is changing, indeed it is.
the only constant thing is change.
maybe my friends are moving on, and they're changing, and i'm changing. let's hope things don't move too quickly, at least give me some time to adapt, since the change is inevitable.
i don't know what i should feel with knowledge of this.

let's see what's changed in the past week:
1. i go to school myself now instead of being fetched
2. i'm switching back to my normal sleeping times of 12-530. i think i get more work done, although at a slower pace
3. i'm messaging alot more, but talking much less on my cellular.
4. i enjoy the journey to school nowadays, but not the stay within the compound, if not for a few people who make my day because they exist. thank you all.
5. i may have more or less found out where i'm headed with regard to peace, but the anxiety within me because of what i desire and request of God, is not making me feel very peaceful, and thus joy is not attained from within, and happiness not from my surroundings.

death is indeed the solution to many others, who don't realise the severity of taking life, since it's sacred value is only given or taken by Him. i will not entertain such thoughts, and such stupidity.

good night all.