something that crossed my mind suddenly. random. darling, is your Adium still giving you the problems?

point to remember

a good song to test your stero speakers/headphones is Dishwalla - Somewhere in the middle

hokkien noodles vs chicken pies

frankly, on normal days for dinner, i rather eat what you have, and only on special occassions like CNY, we can have traditional chinese food like the dishes we cooked. we'll do so together hey? =) i miss you lots, do come home soon.

i think like that song, i'm running, it might be fast really, but in the wrong direction. and i'm getting my basics of running wrong. i ain't in a sprint race, i'm in a race for life. so that means it's a long distance run. with that in mind, i must also take into consideration that i ain't doing what everyone who runs need to do. i ain't breathing. i'm not getting my oxygen. i'm not taking in the neccesities to run the race. it's no wonder i fight so hard with myself to do what i want to do; run this race.

my heart is captivated Lord by you alone,
captured by the awesomeness of You alone,
melted by the grace and mercy you have shown,
i stand in wonder,

i reach to You the one who makes the blind eyes see,
who breaks the chains of sickness with authority,
restoring what was broken,
so it may fly again.

i live to worship you,
i breathe to worship you,
all of my days,
your face i will see,
for as i worship you,
you lead to that place,
to that place,
of divine exchange.

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it's really tough.
i'm fighting, with no one but myself.and it sucks, because my fists don't make contact with anything, and i don't get to push that anger out. but i stop and ask myself, like a dumb fool all this while,what's the getting angry for?
who's the anger directed to?
and what in the world are you angry about?

then i look and realise, it's precisely these things i do,
that i must do in quiet submission and with a willing heart,
that i might say i love those who i do it for.

Lord please help me.

Flinch

intr.v. flinched, flinch·ing, flinch·es
To start or wince involuntarily, as from surprise or pain.
To recoil, as from something unpleasant or difficult; shrink

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shhhhhhhhhhhhhh... let's keep it between ourselves =)

i apologise that i kept you awake by nudging you consistently. i'm sorry.

i'm thinking of reading up more on this as to why we as in humans actually do such things.

i'm a closet _________________________.

fill in the blanks.
we all have our other sides.
this is not a confession.
it's a reminder,
of an understated truth.

with that aside, phew!

ok, down to business if that's what i may call it.

to answer you, no it doesn't matter to me, and it meant a lot. really it did.

to you all.. i 'smile' and i truly do, because you could never be part of the joy i was willing to share, but by circumstances and your choice, you pushed away. well.. "so long, farewell..." - to the tune of 'The Sound Of Music'. no, i ain't ousting you out of my life, i'm just choosing to ignore your existence for now. some ask why i behave the way i do, and i look at you, and TADA!!.. i have my answer =)

good night.

enemies over a packet of chicken rice? and black patches on towels when good ceramic does not rub off on a white hand towel? argh! if you were at the north pole and required that packet of food to survive i could understand why you came up with that statement, but gosh, what's it with you? sheesh.

i'm on the verge of giving up seriously i am.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a soldier

i may never get posted to do relief missions,
i don't ever think i'll get to hold a p226 again, what more a rifle.
i may never had see blood apart from that of blisters and sores and not from gun shots.
i have not seen death in it's face,
but i sure know that He lives, and that He gave us life through His being on the cross.

http://ecards.emicmg.com/soldierStory/relaunch.html

"7 acres of land."
"yes please, and oh, let's add a medium-sized cottage because you would like it."

"hmmm... the country side would be lovely."
"i totally agree, because it would be away from the city."

"aren't you going to come along?"
"i would, but someone's got to win the bread and butter.."

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i asked for bows and curtseys, the Lord gave me a ball, one in which i found my princess, though a prince i hardly am. reeling i still am from that, because everytime i lay sight on her, it still amazes the world as it does to me, that an ignoramus as i with her.

love is not selfish.
can selfish people ever learn to love?

words from mommy.

mommy ain't a professor of any sort, but she's mommy, and she loves me, thus her words make sense although sometimes they can hurt too.

theses were her words of wisdom..

on the way to lunch with her today, she spoke of people i care and love. she mentioned that between us we do not owe anyone any explainations - reaffirming my beliefs of what she's brought me up to believe about owing nothing to no one but God - thus we should let time tell the truth.

secondly, she mentioned about one loving another person, as parents love their kids. that we claim we love one, our actions then ought to bring out the best in that person, which in turn would bring out the best in ourselves.

that's the beauty of love, it strives on itself. it's not selfish and does not feed on any other's well-being. it spurs itself on because of it's selfless nature.

the greatest challenge of it all..

is forgetting you amidst all these blessings that You've given unto me Lord.
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i thank you for all that i've been going through, good and bad. it's all helping me grow in ways i never expected, and i wish it never stops, because everything that happens nowadays, i see You teaching me new things. Lord i thank you for these lessons in life you teach me with the interaction i have with people around me and more so the lessons and battles i fight within myself.
i thank You for jacob and joel.
i thank You for sammi.
i thank You for glenda.
i thank You for rachel.
i thank You for uncle Richard, aunt Sharon, Joshua and Naomi.
i thank You for mom and dad.
i thank You for the time you gave us as a family to spend with jie now that she's gone back.
i thank You for shaun.
and Lord, i thank You for You.

i have more to tell you, but i don't feel like typing it now.. laters.

good morning =)

4 songs i hope you get to hear one day.

1. casting crowns - priase you in the storm
2. casting crowns - stained glass masquerade
3. chris tomlin - how great is our god
4. chris tomlin - indescribable

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i think it's nice to know that there are people out there who bother to digitize bibles into softwares etc, and even the daily bread.
for the first time i did my QT in the morning on my laptop. everything included. bible, daily bread, concordance, and what more, i had 3 bibles all at one time, esv, mkjv, and kjv altogether.
interesting experience, and in the same light that we always thank the Lord for food and the hands that prepare them, i thank the Lord too for the effort put into this.

please remind me constantly that a lie is a lie, whether white or not, and in your words, half-truths aren't truths because they ain't complete. ok, not in exact words, but yes you get my meaning. i think it's disturbing the really soft thoughts i've gotten these few days. not good, precarious!


Eph 6:13 Therefore take to yourselves the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Eph 6:14 Therefore stand, having your loins girded about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness
Eph 6:15 and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.
Eph 6:16 Above all, take the shield of faith, with which you shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
Eph 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, Eph 6:18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching to this very thing with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.

verbal blood spill.
the first salvo was well taken in that the defences were strong.
they wore thin, and precarious is was, but with the Lord's strength they stood firm.
honour was accorded as it should have been according to the Word,
and that is the reason i walked away from the battle though not unscathed, i have peace.