*in a state of pain; growing numb to it as the minutes tick by, but it's hurting*

my throat! arGh! that's what's hurting. darn!

don't know what's wrong also. hmmmm.. maybe cause i haven't been drinking enough, but the thing is, it hurts to swallow now, so i don't know how i'm supposed to drink more water..

i bought my new columbia jacket cum wind-breaker. it's nice. i like it, and that's what matters i think. =) i ain't no rich kid, or i would have gotten the other one. it cost $129. nah uh, out of muah league.

i'm going to rest early tonight. i need it, or rather, my throat needs it. i shall attempt to endure the pain of swallowing, and down a mug of water before i go to bed.

all those out there who are sick, if i know you, and i know that you're unwell, i pray the Lord heal you soon. if i don't know you, get well soon.

-gosh, i forgot that the other parts of my body's hurting too, my bicep, and shoulder.. sigh.. i think i'm dying. we're all dying-

i think i did no wrong, so i ain't going to apologise.
till anyone faults me convincingly, that i shouldn't have done what i did, i ain't about to say sorry.

it's not a matter of pride, it's not bowing to anyone and everyone simply just cause i'm the SCpresident. if things worked that way, i quit. but i'm thankful they don't. hahaha

sleep is nice, i like sleeping. haha, and i like eating too. kinda pigged out with my mother and brother today. hahaha, dinner for the 3 of us came up to 30bucks worth of hawker food. hahahaha it was cool!

*drowsy*
well, i don't feel like saying anymore. good night people.

went out with ah wong and Yy today. hahaha.

didn't get to talk as much as i would have liked to ah wong, but it's cause he's got open house tomorrow, and i've got the young leader's thingy thingy tomorrow.
argH!

darn, i can't believe my dad ain't going to celebrate his birthday this year. it's so sad. =\ all cause of a quarrel, and of all things, over results..

hmmm.. i hope to go out with my friends to go talk. i missed the days i went out with other friends just to talk, maybe it's built over time, and i can't force it, but i don't know, i can't help missing times of the past if they were good right? i miss my church youth friends lots, but they've got their own lifes, josh and andrew, yeah they do with their gfs. i'm happy for them.. i really am.

i don't know if i would get to go out for cheese cake with clare tomorrow, cause we've got differing time schedules. so yeah, if it was meant to be, it was meant to be. let's see whether it was meant to be yeah clare? do tell me.. =)

i'm glad i'm getting on fine or at least better with my classmates now. hmmm.. some of them do still get on my nerves, i'm trying. still trying. but at least i'm talking to someone now, and it's an improvement.

hmmmm.. am i really drowning myself in unimportant things in life?
my mother claims i'm obsessed with pool.. and spending money, too much of it, on materialistic things.
i admit i spend lavishly on things that mostly are wants rather than needs, but where do i draw the line?
just spoke to my jiejie about spending money, came up with some plans. hope to implement it from tomorrow. *need a small notepad*

hmmm.. i'm undergoing baptism classes, yet there're issues i need to sort out with myself. i really hope things get going. i feel stagnated. i feel like a resounding gong, there's no more meaning like there was. yeah i may be getting on fine -or maybe not so fine- with my studies, and friends, and play etc etc. but i feel empty. i know what's causing it, but yet i don't feel drawn to the solution. please help me.

i think i talk too much sometimes, and i put on a fake front. i don't want to be this way. i want to be me.

i don't want to say things that i feel better afterward for saying them; i don't want to live in the state of regret for what i say, do, think about, and decide upon.

Matchstick Men was good. it was interesting, and the ending was simple but sweet. things happen in life, and as i often say, life's a fair game. i hope i come to terms with that soon.. but on a good note, i don't think i'll ever understand that, cause God's been more, much much more than fair to me. thank You.

-Dehydrated-

it's Deepavali today. haha. =)

had a minor celebration today in school, learnt some new things about the occassion. interesting.

played pool today too, and played well. maybe it was the company i had on the way home that spurred me on. hahaha. i was quite happy today

God answered my prayers today, and maybe it was by chance, but i choose to see it as Him working. PE was a blessing. hahaha. =) if you're interested to find out what i'm talking about, then ask me.

hmmm.. the sad thing is, it's my papa's birthday, and my parents quarrelled, over my brother's results. i don't know what to say, and i don't want to say anything with regards to the quarrel. i have some reflection on my own part to do.

*eyes tearing, and sniffling* i think it's cause i'm tired. i've been so, but i don't really care. not for now at least. i ain't got no time to care for myself now.

Good night people. maybe i'll go down another mug of water and some mango before i sleep.

i attended my first baptism class today, and i just had dinner.

haha.

i've learnt some old new things. yeah, it's kinda like an oxymoron. i knew God but i didn't know Him, you know that sorta thing? haha

i don't know why i've been so tired these past few days, my body's been drained, and i sleep quite a bit nowadays. hope it wears off soon, since school would be going back to full swing in no time.

i recieve my papers back tomorrow, so as many of my school mates would *cross fingers* - i hope i would be able to accept what i get with grace, acknowledging that these grades i recieve, work for the good of His glory, and not mine.

i'm talking to a friend, and she told me she blogs too. hahaha, but she stagnated, cause she's lazy.

why should i feel i owe it to my friends who read my blog that i should update everyday, or at least once a week? you see, the point is, i don't.
i feel that no one's obligated to update on a regular basis, since it's your own form of a journal, one that you share with others.
i feel that blog owners decide when to write, what to write, and how to write it. =) no strings attached.

haha, i wish all mjc people the best, for tomorrow when we recieve our results. take care everyone, good night. =)

she set the tone right, and it turn out well for the session... where we go from here, i hope we all would chip in to make it turn out good.

Force: Newton
Weight: Newton
Height: m/cm
Committment : Sacrifce

hmmm.. i think i've learnt alot last night from terrence, and lots from sarah today too. =)

i thanked God for placing all those i come in contact with in my live, especially for the nice ones. and i think my councillors are nice people. i want to grow with them, and i hope what was mentioned today wouldn't be mere talk. i'm entrusting it to God, and i hope He leads me where i would lead my council.

thank you.

Good morning to you all, though the house's empty, and the streets are probably too, cause it's a schoolday, and most meridians are having SAT lecture now.

fun: this is for you! thank you so much for what we spoke about last night. =)

*ponders what's there to eat...*

hmm... sustinence. hahahaha... so important, yet something we singaporeans take for granted most of the time, and what we christians take for granted too pertaining to our maintainence of our walks with God.

i still haven't spoken to Him, and it's quiet now. real quiet. the absence of any life forms at home apart from me does make it quiet doens't it? besides, it's raining, and the construction work isn't going on, so i should talk now shouldn't i? since i said i liked it to be quiet..

yeah i would. =)

ciaos.

WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think i'm SO blessed. hahaha and i thank God for it.

i just went on a shopping spree with my papa.
hahaha, we went to sim lim square, and i bought 2 new games.
C&C generals + ZeroHour, and Jedi Academy. =) i also bought a new pair of headphones that comes with an integrated mike, from Altec Lansing. (oh, and i got a Battle Pad Pro free - that's a gaming mousepad)

then we proceeded to Davis Guitar shop. bought 3 new cables for all the guitars at home, 16bucks each, and a new leather strap. it's so beautiful, and i chose it.

hahaha, i just have this thing for leather lah. yay!

hmmm.. account check! we spend approx $310. and i was quite shocked that he was willing to buy me my headphones and games, but he thought i deserved it for my efforts in my promos. i seriously hope my results don't disappoint me. *cross fingers* but nevertheless, i know whatever grades i get would be for the glory of God.

i'm happy, i would start gaming soon, and probably thru the night, since there isn't much to be done in school tomorrow. hehehe. =)

i hope things happen, but i would just be an observer.. i don't wanna initiate the happening of them, but if they do, i ain't going to stop them.

"when the going gets tough, Jesus will still be there.. " - POG

WOAH!!!!!!!!!!

it's a new begining to a long road, another jumpstart with the events that have happened in a really really really really longgggggggggggg time to come.

the last time i updated, it was 12th june, and now, it's already the 10th of Oct. hahahaha

being able to update this friday morning, marks almost the end of my J1 days, cause it's the last paper of the first even promotional exams that Meridian Junior College has had. hahaha, it's 45mins to the end of the paper.

hmm.. i have a good night's rest, and i wonder whether others had too, especially those friends with lit paper this morning. but anyway, they're all so good at it, hahaha.

it is coincidental how something happens one night, and i happen to read my own blog updates about what i typed a long time ago.

give me a minute, yeay, here's what i'm referring to

"in life, there will be people you like, and others you don't like as much, but i believe a precious lesson i've learnt in this camp, is that people are people, and they don't depend on you, so why not have an extra friend rather than an enemy. =)
[ Thu Jun 12, 09:01:42 AM

haha, that was my last entry, and it's probably God's way of telling me something. alot has happened, alot has been said, i feel that i post my updates here becuase i'm part of this affluent society, that invests heavily in technology that serves more to tear down rather than bridge people closer. hahaha. indeed GP is over for this year, but not forever. =)

do what you wish, just don't lose yourself - Avilyn 2003 (that's my sister by the way) hahahaha