studying overnight at the airport. quite effective. it's controlled circumstances and environment i guessed, that's why i have to study.

but it kinda screws up my bio clock, so i'll have to ease up on the frequency now that my GP's just next thursday.

for now, i want to relax. game. i'm tired.

i'm having a acne outbreak again. darn.
and something's puzzling me. i have been sleeping, haven't been pumping the caffeine yet, and eating properly, exercising. so what's up with this outbreak? gosh..

Heaven is a wonderful place,
filled with glory and grace.
Singapore's a small place in comparison,
it has had it's golden age,
but it sure has quite a few souls in it,
who happen to know each other,
because Singapore's a small place.

never thought lives could intertwine like this,
but oh well,
it happens like everything else does for a reason.
i don't know what's up with us all,
but i sure hope to find out in time.

in time,
all can heal,
all can be known,
and all can be done,
only in time,
when the Lord chooses for it to be so.

fyi, if you ain't going to stop smiling,
i'm coming over,
to hug you.
please don't stop.

imo, a cherub smiles like you do.
J smiles like you sometime too,
it's with that same glitter in your eyes,
it must be your mother's eyes you have.

the way your hair falls over your ears,
covers your forehead from time to time,
makes it seem like that's the way it's meant to be.
you make it natural.
you make it you,
the way you are.

i just finished watching 'Drumline'.
pure talent, i'm truly amazed. go catch it if you can, or rather, i don't think it's on anymore, cause i ripped it =p

--------------

it's my science practical tomorrow, and i'm mildy freaking out.

i'm begining to see why people like Mr Koh who has a havard first class honours and Mr Kwan who's equally as into math exist.

you just get better at it the more you do it. haha, well, at least at this level lah. =)

headache, darn it. it's persistent, or maybe it's just my mind. arGh!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, it's papa's birthday tomorrow, going out later on to meet yy, mel and edwin, and also get a card for papa.

man.. and we're all swinging..

i pulled my bicep, strained it too much today whilst playing basketball i guess. arGh!

i'm really sleepy.. =(

8th jan 2005, 1130am.
another day to look forward to. haha, enlistment. came earlier than i expected, but i know it works out in this way for a reason. =)

this is how i spent my day:

piano in the morning.
bought bass guitar strings for my brother.
went out for lunch with mom at amoy street, lor mee, yum!
went to Gentlemen's Quarters, got my suit done.
repaired my oakleys, new mechanism in the stem springs, more comfortable now.
came home for dinner with family. =)

well, that's all i've done thus far for the day. doesn't sound like i've got my A levels in two weeks huh. haha
well, i do!
and that's why i'm getting down to work now.

i'm still dazed by that crescent on your face.

if i could walk away from it all,

i would walk,

towards you.

i sigh with a smile.
looking into those windows,
i see eyes apart from his.
i see more than one being when i see him trot down the maroon carpet towards the stage.
learning to be content with the now of things,
that's why the smile accompanies the sigh.

help me Lord.

ain't he cute?
immortalized in writing, fossilized in pictures.

well, i was 12 hours late. for my run that is.
instead of running at 6am in the morning, i decided to give it a miss cause my body was tired from last night's exercise. woke up for piano, turned out to be a misunderstanding, and i wasted the trip down to bras basah.
ended up eating breakfast with shaun, and accompanied him for his haircut.

came home, and started work slow.. tsk tsk. but at least i completed 1 econs p1, and 60-70% of a math p1. hope to complete it and another one if possible so that i can go for consultation tomorrow.

dinner is to be served shortly, ok. i'm kidding. hahaha, don't know what time we'll eat, but i'm sure we will. hahaha.
i'm dead broke.
yes. d.e.a.d b-r-o-k-e.

well well, tempers boiling.. hmmm.. i wonder why. hope they ease out soon man.. relax brother and sister! hahaha

no, it's not myself, or my family for that matter, thankfully. it's just some of my friends.

well, it's been a really plesant weekend thus far, and i think it's ended on a nice tone, having spent it with my family for dinner, and grocery shopping.
we bought the usual stuff, and i stocked up on some food that i could use for lunch at home now that i no longer have to go to school.
the best part of it, we bought ice cream! hahaha
haagen dasz, tiramisu, and one more flavour, can't remember what it is. gosh, my memory is getting bad.

well, i'm getting up at 630 tomorrow to run with shaun, hope it gets me started feeling fresh in the morning =)

good night earth.

we're celebrating roger's birthday today =)

haha, going for my haircut before that though, and we're meeting for pool at parkway at 430.

hmmm.. it's full swing more than before after today.. all the best to me man..

to tell you i'm joyous leaving college, i would be lying outright.
i am sad about it, and i'm already missing it.
i do love meridian.
i do love meridians.

yes, indeed, we are born of a vision to be the best..

*your smile is the key to my locked up heart

it's been a while now.. well, that's that. a screwed up day, and nothing's really going to change that. i'm really tired though.

------------------------

darn, i don't want to go for lessons tomorrow, but i have to. last lessons of my jc life anyway. haha.
need to pass someone something anyway, and also it's one my second last official day being in school. it... gets my emotions welled up. i can't say i would cry, but i know i've given up a part of me to the school. willingly.
it'll never change that i was part of the pioneer batch, it would never change that i was who i have been in the school as a student, friend, and senior.

well, it's time to say goodbye i guess. and it's saddening, but i smile knowing that it was once there. thank you all for having made my stay in meridian the way it was.

---------------------------

lyrics to a song,
i could type for all to see.
but the tones and feelings of an instrumental,
you have to hear for yourself.

the unspoken words,
there probably aren't any anyway.
but figments of imagination,
and hope are the narcotics i turn to.
to get me past my darkness moments,
of the cold fact of unfufilled dreams that would remain that way.

you want to be happy,
i want you to be happy.
but i don't dare to make any promises,
cause i ain't sure whether i could make you smile.
i sure do know what your smile is like,
but i guess i have to content that i'm not the reason of it,
at this point in time,
and almost surely never.

would you ever care to turn the key you hold to this lock?

today's been a productive day in school, but i don't wanna remain on this 'high'.. i want to go higher! hahaha, in mrs crossley's words, i should get so high, that i don't feel tired anymore =)

GP lecture was really intellectual today, esp mrs logan, and it was fun on the whole. well, my 1st and last GP lecture. hahaha.

i'm tired, so i'm going to bed early tonight. =)

*your smile makes me smile

i know God loves me, i'm not so sure you do.

alright, it's an unmatured, childish thought i'm entertaining. you have to love me, at the very least, that's what you've said and shown all these years.

well, i'm more concerned about being stumbled. and i don't want war.
if my absence is the price tag of peace, i'll pick up the tab this time round.

longer nights in school, it'll be like the good old days, when i was still in council. hmm.. but for different purpose this time round i think.

23 days to my a levels.

be with me God. please.

2 weeks ago, an issue surfaced and i was ready to address it, but it was pushed away cause some other things cropped up. well, it's back, and i want to settle it today.

hope i get to talk to my mom later on. well, it's dinner for now. laters people.

*the way your pale beautiful face oscillates from side to side in quick succession, as a negative response to my question is still vivid in my head as though you're just seated right there next to me..

do you how much of a distraction you are? =)

just finished memoirs of a geisha. like all 'romance' movies and books, that feeling's back, but oh well. it's not the cause of why i'm feeling like that. that's secondary.

---------------------

don't wanna think about it all.

maybe i'll wander in the desert for 10, 20 years before finding out where i'm supposed to go. well, i don't want that to happen. =(

disappointments are part and parcel of life, and i just... oh well.. hmmm.. nevermind.

i have to get this cause and effect thing outta my head. it's childish, and it's so near-sighted. i have to learn to look at the bigger picture of things happening around me.

well, i have people to look up to at least. uncle mengkim, wah kor, and others i believe. but oh well, looking at them ain't tantamount to my life falling in their footsteps, although i could try to emulate parts of their lives here and there.

oh well, dinner is going to be one of good f0od, crabs at kallang airport food centre.
till laters..

ever went through a split second for which you think it's really dumb to be thinking of something, but the very next moment you realise that you're actually the one entertaining that very same 'childish' thought?

November Rain

oldie to me, although i ain't that young, and they ain't that old.
well, had dinner with godma, teowhin and joyce, had a nice evening.

england's playing, but i don't feel like watching.
i'm tired, i'm going to bed.

i finished TDB, moving on to My Utmost for His Highest. hope it's sufficient material for input.

i'm disappointed that it's the second week in a row i failed trying, but oh well, it happens for a reason, and i guess i'm to be blamed. no qualms.

night earth

hey hey people back home, i'm updating my posts from heaven. it's great up here. i get to talk to God and listen to the angels, the computers here are really much better than the ones back at home.. and the best part, we never feel tired up here... etc etc..

----------------------------

hmmm... ok, i'm day dreaming. but i really wonder what it's like up there, and i hope i go to God in my sleep.

well, i played pool for 3 solid hours yesterday, may have been slightly longer, but that's it for pool for now, at least till the A levels. - have to find other ways to destress from now till the A's are over; probably movies and books.

as a result, my right knee was hurting like mad, and i had to ice it when i got home. this is quite bad. i'm 18, and i'm going for NS soon, and i have a knee like that.. tsk tsk.. hope it'll heal prior to my entry, through God's healing and rest.

i just had breakfast with my dad and brother, mom's attending her course. got to complete at least one math paper before i go to church later on, i think i'll attempt the TPJC one.

- well, hopes and dreams are what keeps up going.. do dream on people, and keep on hoping.. =)

ok, prior to this entry, i was messing around with my layout, and i kinda screwed up my html.

that suffice as reason number 1 of 2 to change my URL.
the other reason is cause someone found my previous link through another friend. no worries to you, but yeah, you know my preference, so please respect it =) you're still loved very much.

i spent 1 hour clearing up the mess that the post mortem of the prelim's created. it's quite disgusting, but at least tonight i've got a full study table to work with. and since i slept from 3-6plus, i'm going to sleep at earliest 1230. i need to do lotsa stuff anyway.

probably add another entry later, got to rush off for dinner now. ciao.

i hope i didn't just screw up my blog.

i could only pray for you, and yes i want to =)

i hope you would give unto the Lord your apprehension, distrust, and the whole problem if possible. haha, hope the day your own magic works for yourself comes soon =)

ok, maybe it was too early for a good night afterall, but hey, i'm entittled to this glee and the cherubim smile i have within me at this point in time right? =p

i'm really thankful i can seek solace in Your Word.
hmmm.. i'm feeling much more peaceful now, as compared to just now right after my shower, when i was really ready to erupt. but it wouldn't have done much good anyway, so yeah, i'm thankful i chose to walk away after punching my fist into my other palm. that sufficed for then.

hmmm.. many j1s would be taking their promos tomorrow, and i'm praying for my friends.
hope your eye swell has recovered.
well, to all those still taking exams, or going to take them this coming week, i wish you all the best, do your best and He will do the rest =)

i took my medicine, and i've got only 1.5 hours of lessons tomorrow. so i'm going to bed now.
goodnight to you, and world.

if i counted correctly, the last 4 times she speaks, it's always recieved with negative feelings on my end.
why?!?!?!? arGh!!!!!!!!!!!
late afternoon yesterday, she starts.
early this morning in the car, there she goes again.
it's already evening on sunday, and i would have expected a day in church to dispel all this angst in her, no, she goes at it the very moment she wakes up from her afternoon nap. gosh.

i really wanted to talk to her later on this evening, but i don't think i'm going to do so now.
it's just so... wrong... to do it at this time now.

Gosh~!
-roy lamented.

cough drop OD. with a flu tablet.
hope i sleep peacefully tonight.

i'm tired.
i cannot confirm whether it's 33 days left, but i don't care for now. i want to sleep.

goodnight world, and to you, yeah, you too. night.