went out with ah wong and Yy today. hahaha.

didn't get to talk as much as i would have liked to ah wong, but it's cause he's got open house tomorrow, and i've got the young leader's thingy thingy tomorrow.
argH!

darn, i can't believe my dad ain't going to celebrate his birthday this year. it's so sad. =\ all cause of a quarrel, and of all things, over results..

hmmm.. i hope to go out with my friends to go talk. i missed the days i went out with other friends just to talk, maybe it's built over time, and i can't force it, but i don't know, i can't help missing times of the past if they were good right? i miss my church youth friends lots, but they've got their own lifes, josh and andrew, yeah they do with their gfs. i'm happy for them.. i really am.

i don't know if i would get to go out for cheese cake with clare tomorrow, cause we've got differing time schedules. so yeah, if it was meant to be, it was meant to be. let's see whether it was meant to be yeah clare? do tell me.. =)

i'm glad i'm getting on fine or at least better with my classmates now. hmmm.. some of them do still get on my nerves, i'm trying. still trying. but at least i'm talking to someone now, and it's an improvement.

hmmmm.. am i really drowning myself in unimportant things in life?
my mother claims i'm obsessed with pool.. and spending money, too much of it, on materialistic things.
i admit i spend lavishly on things that mostly are wants rather than needs, but where do i draw the line?
just spoke to my jiejie about spending money, came up with some plans. hope to implement it from tomorrow. *need a small notepad*

hmmm.. i'm undergoing baptism classes, yet there're issues i need to sort out with myself. i really hope things get going. i feel stagnated. i feel like a resounding gong, there's no more meaning like there was. yeah i may be getting on fine -or maybe not so fine- with my studies, and friends, and play etc etc. but i feel empty. i know what's causing it, but yet i don't feel drawn to the solution. please help me.

i think i talk too much sometimes, and i put on a fake front. i don't want to be this way. i want to be me.

i don't want to say things that i feel better afterward for saying them; i don't want to live in the state of regret for what i say, do, think about, and decide upon.

Matchstick Men was good. it was interesting, and the ending was simple but sweet. things happen in life, and as i often say, life's a fair game. i hope i come to terms with that soon.. but on a good note, i don't think i'll ever understand that, cause God's been more, much much more than fair to me. thank You.