it's a sunday, and the start of many, in which i would start counting down to my book-in time.
today's at 1945. well, goodbye to you all for another 12 days because my field camp commences on friday, thus i won't be back next weekend.

seriously, nothing sucks as much one particular issue. being absent from mainland means an absolute no chance of something happening. but oh well, hope is what i have to keep me going on i guess.

i'm hoping for a miracle i don't expect to happen.
Lord, i believe, but help me with my unbelief.

confused? i'll talk to you if i ever get the chance to and if you do ask me. that's when i'm back though.

i'm back, and i met some extraterrestrial life, and it was pleasant time spent =)

well, an army that's got no regimentation's not an army, so i guess yes i'll have to take it in stride with God's strength.

my only issue thus far is the lewd talk and ever-so-frequent spurts of foul language. man, i don't wanna complain about it, cause i can't provide a solution at this point in time. till i can, i'll just remain mum about it as much as i can.

'The Aviator' was a movie that engaged my mind. a refreshing experience from the army where you just have to process the (rather) simple instructions and protocols taught to you. i hope i don't screw up, especially with the live rounds and grenades man. *shudders at the thought of the possibilities of gunshot wounds*

did my groccery shopping today, going to get my field camp stuff tomorrow, and that's all for tonight i guess. it's good to be home. camp's sweet, but home's sweeter.
night people.
all the best tomorrow for you =)

i'm 23hours away from enlistment. not feeling anything in particular.
coughing, blocked nose, and an irritable temper.

i hope i would enjoy the change in environment. away from people i know, being together with people i hardly know. maybe this change would be good.
then when i know those i initially didn't, and not know those i used to, maybe the switch might come about again.
nobody knows. nobody knows it but me.

i'm happy you're in touch with your feelings, and your new ec. atta girl. all the way =)

financial independence is my new year resolution.

that was the final hundred dollars i took. i hope, but i'll learn to survive.

it's been quite a while now, but i'm thankful for where i am, and the people i'm with.
we're all in the main office of covenant house, and those who are either not able to sleep even though they're tired, or because they're working. yeah school work, they're having school at the moment, and it will only be confirmed whether they get their official leave from school for the camp.

incoherent thoughts are going through all our minds at this moment, and it's cause it's 3 am in the morning, and we're just surviving on the chemical caffeine our bodies are producing when we push our bodies to overdrive.

well well, goodnight to you people, and i hope you all find your remaining days of 2004 meaningful in reflection. ciao

gosh, i'm so blessed, and i'm so pissed, and i'm so.. i don't know.

i like to see, the blackness of the paper i buy for christmas cards
i like to smell, the fragrance of a cologne like armani mania
i like to hear, the tick produce by a well stroked shot from a maple shaft
i like to taste, the bitter-sweetness of coffee
i like to feel, the smoothness of suede
and above all,
i like you.

i think i'm starting to turn into a temporal shutter bug. i keep imagining how things i see would appear like in photos, and even went to the extent of taking those pictures. haha. maybe i'll be able to write something about these photos soon.

for what it's worth, i think the people who care for and love me, have serious issues.
you people ought to go for mental and physical checks, to ascertain just which parts of you have problems, that you should even bother with a screwed up like yours truly.

i can't say nothing much has happened, because indeed a lot has!
haha

melbourne was interesting without parents and just siblings. it was a different experience from last year, and enjoyable too. the beer was a plus, and the food was really good at times. the company was nice too =)

prom wasn't fantastic but it was memorable in it's own ways. so many pretty young ladies that night. some looked really fantastic, but i felt that others looked nicer on other days.

up and coming, piano exam in 5 days and counting.

the ipod is really pretty. wait. all ipods (white and black ones only) are pretty, but mine's the prettiest! =p hahaha
i really like it.

did some major reshuffling today, of the furniture in my bedroom, the dining room, and my brother's room. the hall's not touched, yet.
am shagged from the day, but i miss soccer. hope i get to watch some good soccer tonight.
*went to check activeodds for the games tonight*

*back*
disappointment. none of those i want to watch are playing tonight.
guess i'll sleep. =p afterall, i'm supposed to have an earlier-than-usual sunday morning tomorrow, cause i want to have breakfast. i miss kayabutter toast, with porridge and eggs. =)

goodnight people for now.
i hope those in Ophir are doing fine.
i hope those in korea are having fun,
and i hope those back here in spore are still having fun too =)

and you never did reply. it's a vicious cycle.
a clown's laughter with a sardonic stain.

well, the bbq was fun, and i was contented. and godpa gave me my new bag. it's pretty, i love it. and i love my godpa too =)

night people.

how do i tell you,
what i see through my eyes when i look at you?
when i'm lost for words,
to describe the beauty you show me,
or when i acknowledge that silence,
does come hand in hand with being in awe.

dtob noi dai mai dtob chun noi waa ter kit teung gunmai dtong waan dtong waew rok yaak taam kae hai ter
dtob noi dai mai dtob chun gon waa ter kit teung chun
yaang tee chun mun kit teung koi ter glub maa

it's in thai, a nice song someone sent me.
here's the translation.

Could you please answer me that you miss me.
You don't have to be sweet. I just want to ask you...
Can you answer me? Answer me first, that you miss me
Just like I miss you, and wait for you to return

the absurdities of our parents are usually but the norms of their children - us.

i guess that's something parenting will teach me in future, that's if i have kids.

math p2 tomorrow, all the best to all taking it.
just had dinner, going to take a long good shower, practise one more math p2, and then go to bed.

Ronan Keating - We've got tonight

i know it's late,
i know you're weary,
i know your plans don't include
me.
still here we are,
both of us lonely,
longing for shelter,
from
all that we see.
why should we worry,
no one would care
girl,
look at
the stars now,
so far away,

Chorus
We've got
tonight,
who needs tomorrow,
we've got tonight
babe,
why don't you
stay?

Deep in my soul,
i've been so
lonely.
all of my
heart,
fading away.
i've longed for love,
like everyone else does.
i
know i keep searching,
after today.

so there it is
girl,
we've got it all now,
and here we are
babe,
what do you
say?

Chorus

i know it's late and i
know you're weary,
i
know your plans don't include me,
still here we
are,
both of us
lonely,
both of us lonely,
lonely.

We've
got tonight,
who
needs tomorrow,
let's make it last,
let's find
a way.
Turn out the
lights,
come take my hand now,
we've got
tonight babe,
why don't we
stay?
we've got tonight babe,
why
don't we stay?

-------------------------------

ok, i lied.

i'm sorry, but i didn't know what else to say.i've got things on my mind, and the Lord knows what they
are. i need a good night's sleep, yeah that's what i need for now. maybe i'll see you tomorrow morning, maybe i wouldn't.
goodnight.

it's the festival of lights.
nothing to do with me though.
haha, just that it's probably the only reason why i don't have a paper today.

hmmm.. i've been thinking about the multi-racial, multi-cultural nature of my country. the secular-ness of it. maybe if it didn't come so easily, my faith wouldn't waver that much huh. but oh well, i'm here for a reason.

i went to the airport last night again. had a night of math, and will continue to do one more paper later on, before i get down to physics. will study econs tomorrow, or maybe i'll stay up through the night again.

going out for dinner, hope we get to eat nice food. i've got a resolution to eat less. eating to fill my tummy, rather than enjoying great food now. i can't afford to do so anymore. putting on lots of weight.

it's 14days to the end of my exams.

it's an unknown amount of days to the end of the world.

my trip to the states to visit handi has been cancelled because he's going to china with his family. what a waste. i might just fly over to london to visit ange then.

it's thursday tonight, which means 4 (or is it still 5?) singaporeans are going on stage to fight for their votes, to be crowned the singapore idol. wow, can you feel the excitement? if you can, let me know, cause you weren't supposed to. i think it's dumb. sorry to those who are ardent fans of AI, SI, and all the other idol shows.

well, i just got back from a game of basketball with my brother. we went to play at a court that we used to play at 4 to 5 years ago. things have changed, we have changed. well, shall not elaborate for now. not the time for penning thoughts like this now.

music - Worthy is the Lamb

my muscles are aching, especially my thighs. a result of basketball yesterday after having stopped playing for almost 3 weeks now. but it helped with the sleep last night, and hopefully tonight as well. i'm trying to break up the nocturnal cycle as i mentioned 2 days back i believe.

i have no idea why i'm feeling this moody/uneasy. but i must say, i'm feeling much better after talking to God. no He's not my aunt agony. He's more like a lover, whom i'm still very much infatuated with, and miss dearly throughout the day. still learning as much as i can about Him, and at least i know it's something from within me. it's not something that's forced, it's not fake, and even it were that case to you, in someone else's words, "it's your perception, not my reality".
no one pissed me off, nothing really sparked it off, just sort of slipped into 'this' as i made my way home.
was a rather productive day of practising math in the school library today, although it was really quite noisy with all my juniors doing up their GPF for the last time. congrats to them, and kudos to the hard work - or the lack of it - that's gone into it. hope you people score well.

come to think of it, my teeth are also aching. or rather, my whole jaw is.
i don't know what's up with my teeth. they ache nowadays even when i drink cold water. i think it's something wrong with my nerves. this is bad, cause i love drinking cold water that is.

something i wrote for those i know i love.

the trickle of a stream,
the thunderous roar of the niagara.
strumming of
4 simple chords that make up a song of praise,
or the brainchild of
musicianship, brought to life by the creme de la
creme,
it all
points to you,
and the love you have for me.

the love i can
return,
is not worth mentioning a fraction.
it's my prayer it
suffices,
and i'm sorry i let you down at times.
but still hold me
close
to you.
let our fingers intertwine like those of lovers,
that i
might
rest by your side,
knowing you're there by the sound of your
breaths.

love me,
love you,
let it be so.

goodnight earth, and you.

i just had dinner, and i feel like writing some stuff, but i'll do so later, after i talk to God.

it's puzzling why i always seem to have fish on the dinner table. haha, i love it, and i ain't complaining. =p

had curry fish head, and that was what i call a good dinner. =)

it's not a good dinner just because it's curry fish head, but rather cause it was really good. yeah, it could be the simplest of foods, like duck porridge, but if it's good, it would suffice for my dinner. =)

i'm a satisfied boy tonight, and i've only got one wish. i'm hoping it will be fulfilled.

mama told me over dinner, just let God know your heart's desires, but
more so, ask that His will be done. then you wait. yeah, that's what i'm going
to do.

bloody headache.

pleasant phone call.

white pills.

my bed.

slumber.

they ain't in order of any sort.

do your parents pick up your cellphone when it's ringing and it doesn't happen to be by your side?
haha, i almost got a shock of my life when i called a friend, because that happened. haha.

well, it's been pretty much of a slacked day, and i'm just waiting for my body to call me to bed, then i'm going to plonk in it for a good 8 hours, then i'll start the day! =) physics!!! here i come!

3 days to my start of my A levels, and 24 days to it's end.

studying overnight at the airport. quite effective. it's controlled circumstances and environment i guessed, that's why i have to study.

but it kinda screws up my bio clock, so i'll have to ease up on the frequency now that my GP's just next thursday.

for now, i want to relax. game. i'm tired.