love in a time of exams

my personalized welfare consists of the following:

1 x Old Town White Coffee Packet of 15 sticks

1 x Wheel Potatoe snack

2 x Liang Teh

1 x pack of Pong Piah

i really feel loved =) *hugs*

life began when the Lord breathes the spirit of life into us.

even before the point of conception, He knew each of us dearly.

i don't know how far away you are from Him,

but i do know that He loves you very much.

an active decision is not a birthright, it is solely by His grace that we are bestowed with it.

cherish that gift, do not abuse it, and live the consequences, for one day we will all account to Him.

of⋅fi⋅cial

  [uh-fish-uhl] Show IPA

–noun

1.	a person appointed or elected to an office or charged with certain duties.

–adjective

2.	of or pertaining to an office or position of duty, trust, or authority: official powers.

3.	authorized or issued authoritatively: an official report.

4.	holding office.

5.	appointed or authorized to act in a designated capacity: an official representative.

6.	(of an activity or event) intended for the notice of the public and performed or held on behalf of officials or of an organization; formal: the official opening of a store.

7.	Pharmacology. noting drugs or drug preparations that are recognized by and that conform to the standards of theUnited States Pharmacopeia or the National Formulary.

51 days and counting.

so much has happened.
4th quarter already... eekz.
oh well, looking foward's better than looking backward only to realize that we haven't done much on our parts - but that doesn't discount looking back and reflecting on what's happened.

goals, visions, and dreams - here we come.

你最近不說話 怎么了 為什么
是不是有什么事讓你不快樂
听說你最近很孤單 有點亂 有點慌
可是我卻不能夠在你的身旁

你想要的 我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的 卻又不是你想要擁有的
我們不适合 也不想認輸
好几次我們抱著彼此都是想要哭

常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我覺得是所有的一切早已就結束
不想再約束不要再痛苦
下一次會有更好的情路

你最近不說話 怎么了 為什么
是不是有什么事讓你不快樂
听說你最近很孤單 有點亂 有點慌
可是我卻不能夠在你的身旁

你想要的 我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的 卻又不是你想要擁有的
我們不适合 也不想認輸
好几次我們抱著彼此都是想要哭

常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我覺得是所有的一切早就已結束
不想再約束不要再痛苦
下一次會有更好的情路

愛 我卻不能夠 給你我全部
我能給的 卻又不是你想要擁有的
你想要的 我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的 卻又不是你想要擁有的
我們不适合 也不想認輸
好几次我們抱著彼此都是想要哭

常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我覺得是所有的一切早已就結束
不想再約束不要再痛苦
下一次會有更好的情路

這一次我們都能很幸福

the truth hurts when we forget that we look upon ourselves too highly; when we stop thinking we're really that great, the truths would stop hurting.

i'm going home, to a place where i belong..

maybe someday i'll realise where that is.

ok i give up. the running away's tiring, and i'm coming home.
let's start with the basics once again.
20mins a day.
do's and don'ts of course are in the picture.

thanksgiving and supplication will be a must.
all glory be to You.

i've come to realise that when one listens hard enough to the voice of a man who's heart is for God, one catches on with that excitement; it's contagious, and it's appealing.

i serve a God, who is faithful and true
i will hide, in the shelter of Your wings
for i find my rest, in Your faithfulness,
yes i serve a faithful God.

²⁶In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

i'm wondering how mom reacted to the message on Sunday - i didn't expect her to go cause i had the idea she had to pop by the office for work, but it was a pleasant surprise to know she did go in the end. maybe i'll talk to her when she's back from Shanghai on the 1st.

religiousity.
familarity.

tsk tsk

leaders are in their preparation phase till they have a life changing encounter with Him.
that would mean we're always being prepared.

i wonder how many people do actually listen to the whole CD when they buy one, or do they keep repeating the slightly catchier ones, and really ignore the other slower, less prominent ones.

Two 'o clock and I wish that I was sleeping
You're in my head like a song on the radio
All I know is that I got to get next to you
Yeah I got to get next to you
Sitting here turning minutes into hours
To find the nerve just to call you on the telephone
You don't know that I got to get next to you

[Chorus]
Maybe were friends
Maybe were more
Maybe it's just my imagination
But I see you stare just a little too long
And it makes me start to wonder
So baby call me crazy
But I think you feel it too
Maybe I, Maybe I
Just got to get next to you

I asked around and I heard that you were talking
Told my girl that you thought I was out of your league
What a fool, I got to get next to you, whoa
Yeah it's five in the morning and I can't go to sleep
'Cause I wish, yeah I wish that you knew what you mean to me
Baby let's get together and end this mystery, oh

i just got back from a wake.

"i've not attended many of my friends' weddings, and i've clocked the first funeral"

the cremation service's in 10hours time, and although we weren't close, there were lessons to be learnt.

any death is an appropriate occasion for 2 things:

1. to mourn the death of a loved one; that person definitely had someone who loved him/her, and he/she definitely loved others.

2. to be joyous that he/she is going home to another who loves him/her more than we ever could; that's with the assumption that the person did know the Lord, and had accepted Him to be the saviour - question to ask then: what are we doing to make sure that this point doesn't turn out to be N.A (Not Applicable)?

yes, cry! we should. those tears deserve to fall, and those hearts ought to ache.
but yes sing! and know that the love you have for her would pale in comparison to how much the Lord loves her.

a feast has been prepared for her upon her return, after having been away for her life here on earth; just as parents prepare the fattened calf for the child who's been away for extended periods, what more our Father in heaven?

thank you friend for your friendship, although we never met till today. my only consolation to that, is that i would one day see you in the kingdom that is from everlasting to everlasting. till then, do what you were created to do; praise Him =)

my wishlist for 2009: (dreams are free; thus some of these items are appearing on this list)

1.ProMedia GMX A-2.1
2.Yamaha R6
3. Nikon D300 - w/ 17-55mm F2.8 Nikor
4. SB900
5. a new Mezz
6. Predator PB2
and finaly...
7. a white christmas

the ploy unfolds. and when it does, the comprehension actually terrifies me.
knowledge is power, and with it comes responsibility.

i ain't so sure i'm ready for such weight on my shoulders.

time and space are 2 things i hope to talk to You about one day, i cannot imagine what it would be like without them, but it serves to remind me that You are You, and i'm ... simply me.

haha. thank You for being You.

i honestly don't think you know what you're doing to me.

take my word for it when i say you're majorly pissing me off.

back off!

-character moulding; don't make me give up, i swear i would one day if this carries on-

Lord, i pray for:

Peace: 

to guard the hearts of your people who are going through this economic meltdown. twice today the news was updated, and it's scary. the way companies are slashing their workforce.

Healing:

in the families that are going through a rough patch, whatever the reasons might be, known or unknown to others and themselves, but definitely known to You, i pray you comfort them as they draw strength from You.

Love:

to overcome bitterness, tears, and harsh words that might roll from their tongue. may it together with Your Holy Spirit that resides in them be victorious over all unloving thoughts, actions and words. 

and last but not least,

Faith:

for those who are still taking exams, or haven't started yet for that matter. When the going gets tough, let them look to you faith knowing that since You've brought them to it, You would bring them through it. for a special friend who's very uncertain of his future that are anchored on his grades, i pray You teach him that with You, all things are possible. 

Amen.

playing with fire

i don't understand why people do the things they do sometimes, like how i don't understand why i do the things i choose to do at times.
it hurts, it's painful, and it's... plain stupid.

all this messing around's getting nowhere. no where at all.
God help me.

plans are but fragments of your imagination until they're concretized in history by action.

i've got plans, do i have the cement or the ink to put them down in history?

i sure hope so.

honestly i'm already thinking of the next semester when i ain't even done with my current exams. why is my mind straying?

argh... it's another 72 hours away.. tick tock tick tock. 

painfully slowly, yet a little too quickly for my comfort. 

i'm confused. i think i am. am i?

ok i feel like i'm speaking into a mirror, this is weird by the current circumstances, but it wasn't too long ago that i used to do this quite often eh? not literally, i meant talking to myself; thinking.

the list - got a name?

thus far what's been conquered:

1. Crystal jade steamboat buffet - the beef was yummy.. along with the seasame paste!

2. "Chin Chin" pork chop. haha.

3. Pasta Brava - wasn't too good, but oh well, nice ambience - a little confused though.

what lies ahead:

1. western jap fusion at peace centre - 7 course meal

2. jap buffet at suki - more for the raw salmon.

the uncanny coincidence is... 

somewhat scary.

God help me.

whenever i hear the screams rise up to the heavens, 

the same tingle always shoots down my spine. 

it makes the glands work and they flow,

whether or not i allow them to by choice.

it tells me one thing. 

i was made this way, for a reason.

to be in reverence, to fear, and to obey.

what in the world am i doing messing up my life like this?

i was sipping my coffee

came along a young boy, he couldn't have been more than 3.

he climbed up the chair to settle in whilst his mother got in line for toast and coffee too.

people walked by, and they were charmed by him.

it was easily a crowd of 5 ladies and more.

i re-learnt something from this.

one reason why people go goo-goo ga-ga over kids, 

is because they realise inside themselves, 

that this living being is still soaked with innocence, 

un-tainted by schemes, 

un-tarnished by lies, mistrust and pain.

it doesn't stop there.

look back beyond the picture, and ask who painted it.

He meant for life to be beautiful and it is.

so quit being angry, unsatisfied, and grumpy. start living.

life is beautiful.

if our greatest need had been information, 

God would have sent us an educator.

 

if our greatest need had been money, 

God would have sent us an economist. 

if our greatest need had been technology, 

God would have sent us a scientist. 

but our greatest need is forgiveness,

so God sent us a saviour. 

in any confrontation, there are two options. fight or flight.

tonight i've learnt that there is a 3rd option. it's called making peace. 

it's tough to swallow, but once you hit that button/make the decision to do so, an overpowering sense of peace overwhelms you. and that's followed by a warming sensation in your heart when the peace is reciprocated. 

i do understand that the second part must not be taken for granted because not everyone would react the same way, but nevertheless it's the first part that matters, because if you don't have peace with your Maker, the other reasons for existing then don't suffice anymore.

The Dark Knight

after catching it yesterday, i realised why we're awed by some stories and not too excited by others.

in some way or another, these stories are results of individuals - their authors - sitting quietly in their times; observing the people around them, as their source of inspiration for characters, therefore, so long there are people around, we would always be able to identify with the freaks and heroes of the plot, because they're all present within us.

the morale dilemas, the weird decisions that some deem right and others wrong, are all debate topics of which there would be no conclusion, because we argue with the limited understanding we have. in times like this, i look up and remember The Artist of all the great works, and i smile to myself; grateful, humbled and at peace.

the session wasn't expected, but it was appreciated. i could tell some really missed the human contact, not over poker cards or mahjong tiles, but when souls connect because we lower our guard and pride, and realise that there is no need for either in such a setting. 

in scarcity there is value.

kudos to you all. amigos.

it's been a while. and no i'm not going to update. it'll still be sporadic updates. and no i don't really care who's reading. hahaha. it's comical thinking about these things i do, but then again, they're torturous. cheers you all out there =)

i'm going to admit i'm sick of it.

morning sleep. constant drags. aimless-ness.

need a drive. need to drive.

maybe i'll ride up to say hello.

maybe maybe maybe.

so many unknowns. 

yes you can tell i'm sick of it all.

i re-learnt a truth by speaking it to a friend.

the sure thing to happen whenever approaching an issue/problem/matter, would be an initial stage of awkwardness.

if you don't accept that within yourself, and therefore not prepare yourself for it, when it starts to feel awkward, it impedes moving on into handling the matter as appropriate. 

therefore, i'm going to log it down in my mind that every new experience, every quarrel, and every problem is going to make me feel uneasy, but it ain't going to stop me. 

it sure feels queasy though. *shrugs*

sure, the hand holding to join dots that form letters was an interesting experience.

yes i do agree the whole affair does slow things down, let's you watch the ants crawl, or squirrels climb trees. it allows you to realise once again that the birds do chirp, and the insects do make funny noises.

the sound of pattering feet when the keys jingle in the door.

the solving of a great mystery by trying all that used to work only to realise that this unique sound is for that particular want, i bet it's an achievement in itself.

good to have, not a must have. 

i'm not ready to think whether it's what i want.

the time isn't now.

do you have a reason for that tingling feeling one tends to have after watching a romance comedy that Hollywood somehow manages to make you believe that a "happy ever after ending" is possible in a short span of 120mins?

i've come to believe the time isn't now.

we need to talk. yes. now.

I FOUND IT!!!!!!!!

Pilot fountain pen! they stopped production for the original model, but now they come in petite sizes, and refills! woooo hoooo!! hahahahaha

i'm re-starting to write, think, and read more. 

if you ever find my book, do not read it. i'm serious. you wouldn't understand it unless you were a worm in my head. hahahaha

"When will you be home?" she asks
as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
SIlver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
ohh...
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away 

till i read the lyrics word for word, i didn't know she sang of mama. 

mama.. one of the first few syllabi an infant learns to annunciate.

to hold back one you love, 

would be to stab yourself repeatedly.

that's what i feel.

what do you think?

lie to anyone, but yourself.

if you can live with that, let me know, i would like to talk to you.

i'm done with this.

You can have it all.

cause enough's enough.

freedom and responsibility.

boundaries and property lines.

soul.

honesty is a bedrock.

man.. how do these people write such amazing things?

*someone turns on the light*

ahhh... no wonder.

"This is the verdict: light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instaead of light because their deeds were evil. everone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light, for fear that his deeds will be exposed. but whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has beeen done through God" John 3:19-21

a merchant;

unsure of the terms of trade.

"so i'll trade THIS....

for THAT...deal?"

sure. 

in dreamland.

when you see a beautiful painting, 

you tend to ask,

"who painted this?"

do you seek to know This painter?

Romans 6:1-3

What shall we say then? 

Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? 

By no means! 

How can we do died to sin still live in it? 

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptised into his death?

houston we have take'off..

let's just hope the flight plan gets trasmitted.
i'm pretty sure it's been completed for one thing.

it's all over.
yes all the projects.
and i'm suppose to start revision.
procastination.

i just realise how i wouldn't be a surprise-case patient in a psychiatrist office.

my friends think i'm weird.
i ain't too worried about that, cause i know they're my friends.

should i proceed with the plan?
wait a minute, i ain't so sure i have a plan.
does planning to have a plan qualify as being part of the plan?

HE201
HE206
MB103 Journal Critique
MB 103 Journal Critique Presentation
MB103 Marketing Plan
MB103 Marketing Plan Presentation
HA201
HW111 Presentation

3 down, 5 to go.
yes i should be grateful.
i'm sick.

work was created out of rest.

rest is taken that the greater distance may be covered.


two simple sayings i've heard many times, maybe even believed in either at one point. however that all seems inconsequential at this point.

emotions which are intangible are rocking the tangible boat.
the unimportant superceed the supposed significant.
once noble and fanfare-like, now lies in shabbles and rotting death.

can someone bring me to the green plains of scotland that never end? and would you sit there with me to feel the breeze sweep past our faces? to remember that in the silence between us, and the sound of the rustling grass, that all that beauty was created for Him?

i'm leaving it in Your hands really.
what comes comes,
what goes goes.
because it comes when You give,
and it goes when You take.

i know there are cracks in between which i do play a part,
nudge me when it's my turn k?

on the other hand,
for the rest of you,
i'm lost for words.
wait a minute,
i'm not lost,
i feel it ain't right to say anything.

just don't subject the rest of us to this abuse.
if it's between the two of you,
sort out the mess.
it'll take some serious swallowing,
some serious humiliation,
but suck it up and get it over and done with.

tsk tsk..
and who ever said adult-babies don't exist?

all this is turning me into a cynical nuthead.
and yes it's a choice i'm making,
bite me,
love me,
or just leave me alone.

you..
tell me when you think it's right what i did, if you ever do come to think of it that way.
if you don't, i won't pursue the matter, i really won't.

the missing comprehension is what's making you feel the emotions you pulsate through the hammering of the black and whites, but honestly, i'm not getting the beating. if it's the hard way that's going to get you to walk off, to prove yourself, i'll have it that way, because it's good for you.

in all the disbelief you might probably muster up to the point where i seek forgiveness, know this.
i love you.

pinkies..

haha..
they bring back memories,
but they're totally not connected if you get what i mean.
they mess me up again..
they really do.
i can't say i'll stand strong,
but i do know within myself i'll try, i really will..

if only i could fly away to my ideal world..
if it was there for the taking..
would i dare take that first step towards that ideal?

ladies and gentlemen... presenting...

hahaha.. nothing lah.. it's just my 1st post with my new toy =)
heehee
i'm happy.

i guess all children are happy with new toys cause they don't understand the value of a price tag.
do i remember that most expensive price tag often?

when you lose sight of the purpose of doing something, stop.
without purpose, the doing of the task is dangerous.

there was a little quote i wanted to post up here which i learnt from my marketing lecturer. i'll do so when manage to find it, it's somewhere in my notes from the last lecture.

oh well. till then, please remain focused on the reason of why you do what you do =)

j-jj-1993@hotmail.com

this is jeremy's mail.
i'm putting it online so i ain't got an excuse to forget i have it.

i read a friend's post some time ago,
and i've come to agree that when you stop writing, you stop thinking.

so here goes.

i've picked up writing again, both online and in my prayer journal. i stopped for quite some time, and i mean really stopped. a total absence of conversation between me and i. yeah i know how that sounds weird, but that's the way i get my head straightened out every now and then..

as you can tell, not having done so for a while actually did result in quite a huge mess. i've no drive, no priorities (in the words of a friend who happened to be in the right time at the right place) and also no urgency to do what i need to.
on the other hand, the lackadaisical attitude towards what i need to do, has allowed me to do some things on impulse, and for the record, some of these impulsive decisions have been good.

money seems to lose it's value every now and then. just after the lunar new year festivities, having had a top up in vitamin Ms, i half suspect that's the reason that allowed me to make certain choices when it came to money the past week. i'm thankful for the mercies and blessings. i truly am.

love ain't a feeling, it's the sum of the choices you make, the important ones, and the not so important ones too.
i chose to wait, because i know i loved my friend. and i'm pretty sure the love was felt, because God is good, thank You Lord =) *hugs*

to you all out there, the lack of comprehension is not going to justify my anger towards you, so i want to proclaim that i love you guys too, but i know the Lord loves you all much more then i do. =)

have a blessed weekend all!!

we choose the right thing to do, because it's liberation in itself that's only possible with our freedom; with our salvation we have knowledge of right and wrong, and therefore our response to life's situations ought to be the choices that fortify the fact that we're free to make the right choices in life to honour Him =)

to enter slumber with a heavy heart,
with the wish that it would lighten up when you awaken,
to find it weigh down as before,
then you realize you were lying to yourself.

quit hoping like this.
face the music.
love bravely.
and wake up.

God help me to remember that bargaining is a phenomenon that takes place between two who have their respective bargaining chips/power. help me remember that you're God, and that i'm man.

struggles that don't kill you make you stronger. i know that. i do know however firsthand that sometimes i rather be dead.

i'm lost.
i'm found.
i'm struggling.
i'm free.
i'm joyful.
i'm down.
i'm excited.
i'm dead bored.

i'm many things.
it wouldn't matter if i'm all these without you.
help me remember 'you' should be the reason, the end, the begining, and the means of all i am, do, and say.

C.O.N.T.A.G.I.O.U.S

my close friends would know i don't like being on a certain side of a camera lense.
go figure out which one, if you know me at all. haha..

anyway, the point of this entry's cause i'm thinking aloud.
i'm wondering why, how, and whether or not it makes sense, or whether it needs to make sense.
to myself, or to anyone for that matter.

it may be here to stay the way things are, or they may change.

what will be will be.. que sera sera...

even when it all comes crashing down..
i will still praise you as Lord God Almighty.

andrew's dad commented..
"wah.. like mafia like that.. "
hahaha..

it's the only thing that holds me back from turning away and never looking back..
it's unbearable, uncontrollable, and yet so liberating.

we love.. because He first loved us.
for those of you out that who flinch at what you so presume as a cliche,
my advice for you if you would accept it,
would be to do away with all of them,
but this one.

The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems,
forgiven I’m alive,
restored set free.

Your majesty resides inside of me,
forever I believe.
forever I believe.

arrested by your truth and righteousness
your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness
convicted by your spirit,
led by your word

your love will never fail
your love will never fail

‘Cause I know you gave,
the world your only son for us to
know your name,
to live within the saviours love
and he took my place,
knowing he’d be crucified
and you loved.. you loved,
a people undeserving!

chronic's a pretty serious word.
being anti-social is not desireable.
i think i suffer from a chronic disability of socializing with people.
honest.

i've come to realise that patience; waiting upon the Lord whilst He takes His time to answer your questions gives rise to no doubt, no questioning, and best of all, an otherwise unimaginable amount of grace to accept.

thank you for conversation,
thank you for the time,
thank you for the friendship that was.

=)

handsome right? you decide which one... hahaha


this one's definitely cute.. =) hahaha.. adorable..


2 very close brothers of mine.. thank God for them..

when we reacquaint ourselves with old skills,
some call it knowledge-refreshment.
being honest about it,
let's come to terms that the only reason why 'refreshment' is required,
is cause we ain't masters of that skills yet,
and i don't think we'll ever be.
now i think i'm in the right frame of mind to tackle the question of why You're putting me through it all.

this repeated process was somewhat not received well,
but with the realization that it's necessary,
i think i wanna submit in obedience.
i do,
i honestly want to be able to say that nothing within my capacity can match up to the simplest of your plans,
help me do that please.
i'm messed up,
and i know you love messes like myself,
help me accept the fact that i can be loved,
and that you do love me.
i ain't mopping,
i ain't crying,
i'm rejoicing that You're God, my King, no one else... nothing compares.

you... could be my unintended...

that's a line from Muse - unintended.
sappy song, kinda moppy too. haha.
and i laughed when i heard it.
but that's cause i'm crying within.
no i'm not upset, i'm just being in touch with the many feelings i've been equipped with.

i think therefore i am.

no, i do not intend to come across as being philosophical today.
i just thought it was apt, but out of context.

silent bubbling excitement,
radical,
happiness,
joy,
acceptance,
sadness,
and embracing life.

some things once said,
maybe not agreed upon by great men,
are etched into history,
only a secret few would ever comprehend.

thanks for conversation.

i honestly think it's a nice cute bag.
it tickled me quite a bit, so yeah.

when we win, we praise God; when we lose, we praise God.

it's amazing how things fall into place,
when you decide to get right with the Lord.
and you thought you knew better huh..
tsk tsk.. once bitten twice shy obviously didn't apply here.
but so long we learn, that's what matters.

i ain't nice to you for a particular reason.

i'm nice cause i choose to be. period.

and as for you, it was really awkward the way you stared, so i shall not think about it for now. really, maybe not for a long time to come. not till it starts to defy logic once again.

i'm shelving those plans for now.

it doesn't change the fact you first appeared to the world on that day.

i was 3, at most 6 inches away from it.
to a physics person dealing with atoms, that's miles apart.
to a musician, that probably doesn't mean anything at all, apart from how far the cellist is from the viola player.
to an accountant, it's probably the thickeness of 2 audit books.

so honestly, i ain't blaming you for what you think. you are anyone. i'm myself. so yeah.

after much deliberation,
and also talking to people with more experience,

i'm settling for the Honda Cb400 Super4.
probably Spec II or Spec III. depending on availability.

for now, i'm going to look on the bright side of life,
there's popiah for dinner, after which i'm heading back to hostel.

it's her birthday today by the way, yeah, the country's.

there're some boys who make good boyfriends,
and others who make good husbands.

till that time where one is both,
i see no point.

i'm running from reality, but if that's my reality, who are you to say anything?

i felt a great grief.
whoever said you can only feel the hurt for those you knew obviously fail to realise this sorta pain.

i've moved out.
i've moved in.

Thank You for Your providence.
Amen.

i think i'm mad to be up at this time. yes it's 5 in the morning.
i'll be driving later, so i'm going to need liquid gold that comes from cherry seeds. haha.

take care you all out here, cause i'm heading west.

i was highly disturbed this morning halfway thru worship.

an abrupt feeling of despair overcame me, because i forgot a simple truth.

the Lord shall be praised in all circumstances - whether good or bad - simply for who He is.

Lord when you're glorified,
my heart is satisfied to know,
all praise and honour are Yours,
and when all creation sings,
to you the King of kings,
all praise and honour are Yours.

help me be less critical when looking at others;
more critical when i look at my reflection in the mirror.
help me be less worried about the things i have no control over;
and more worried about the things you've entrusted into my hands.

it takes me approx 40mins to get to school via the ECP from parkway, at 90km/h.
and 20mins from school to home, via the PIE, at max speed.

remember, it's about him, not you.

interesting how my previous thoughts are being worded by people whom i speak to.

very interesting indeed.

well, i will take note of the advice. thanks for it.

jing, it's uncanny.
i mention to you casually on hindsight the last thing we talked about, and the very next day, i come face to face with my last major problem once again.

it's creepy, and it's depressing.

first and the last?
i don't know, honestly i'm not sure.
i'll let you know in future i guess.

You crossed the great divide, You took our place
You offered up Your life though we have failed
the veil was torn and love remained
You are holy Lord

Distraction costs us, how we seek Your face
we offer up our lives to bring You praise
a love the walls cannot contain
You are holy Lord

We're rising up in spirit and in truth
a living sacrifice we worship You
people undivided, Lord hear us sing
we are Yours and You are our King

This is our love
Hearts joined as one
Desperate for all You are
Lord break down these walls
and see how we love
Desperate for all You are
We chase Your heart

We didn´t come to leave here entertained
or worship under any other name
we're crying out for You alone
You are holy Lord

-------

Show us the way to Your heart

we found our voice
we found our cause
were on our knees, the carpet's worn
we join our hearts
with distant shores and sing to You Lord

monday: tuition 330pm till 6pm.
tuesday: piano make up for Sheryl at 6pm, then lunch with shuhui, tanya, and joyce.
wednesday: tuition with cheryl, followed by tuition with prisc.
thursday: tuition with Isaac, tuition with evan.
friday till next tuesday: BANGKOK! hahaha.

temporal relief in an on-going, never-ending battle.
it cannot go on like this.

it's weird how the torrential effect is always right after the accounting.
it's logical, yet uncanny.

what good's a key that does not unlock a lock?
but the lock does not lose it's meaning when the key ceases to exist.
it's cause some things are just meant to be locked away,
never to be unlocked ever again.

i. zza 'belle says:

doing stuff
ha. i miss jing man

roy - it's still not time. says:

haha. yeah i miss her too.
hahaha

that i struggle,
that i feel pain,
and that i feel the things i feel,
i know my place as human,
and You as God.

13 was injustice.
simplistic.
a twist was present,
but it was puny in comparison to the brillance of the previous 2 i guess.

nevertheless to make it on the big screen,
effort was put in,
thus i gave it credit.

when some are away,
and others are here,
whilst most are asleep,
but few are awake,
i ask myself questions,
to which i don't have the answers yet,
or maybe i'm the one running away from what i know lies within me.

i honestly need to scream out.
i can't.
because i know it would stumble.
maybe the liquid within the crystal would help after all.
why do i sense a downward spiral?

and the truth shall set you free.
somehow i'm being prompted slowly but surely to let the truth be heard.
i know it might be painful for some, but peace is what i can hope for.

where there is conflict, let there be reconciliation.
where there is pain, let there be healing.
where there is apathy, let there be love.
and where there are souls, let there be the Lord.
hug, i miss You, thank You for being there.

need i say more?

280337H May 07

the stupid things i do just to see you smile

032305H May 07

my heart goes out to them VS to hell with all of them.
restraint VS letting loose
me VS i

you see, i'm not getting the full picture; it's not about me. so quit it.

030035H May 07

in this game of chess,
sometimes a move can be both right and wrong,
depending on which side of the chess board you are on.