Wednesday, June 29, 2005

A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction - that's what dic.com defines an infatuation to be.

infatuation is the idea of being in love. - that's what someone said.

well, i don't know really. have i loved or have i just been stuck with the idea of being in love? sure i do love my parents, sister and brother, and friends like handi, Yy, josh and andrew, and i must say, it's hardly what i would call a feeling oriented kinda love, if you know what i mean. it's been more a subtle deep understanding that what i feel for them is something i chose. so does that then make love something that's meant to be void of feelings?

don't get me wrong when i speak of feelings here, because i do understand that love is essentially an act of the will, and not some warm, cosy, lovey-dovey feeling that we 'feel' as a result of chemical reactions in our bodies.

the Word speaks of love, - the ideal kind - the one that the Lord has for us, but truly, in all pessimism, how can fallen beings like you and i ever dare to dream of loving one another when love was from God to us?

on a more positive note, i think they who say that love defies logical trains of thought are truly wise men, or rather those who have humbly resigned to the fact that we as beings of well below par acumen would never grasp the simple yet noble idea/concept of love. because i would never be able after having lived for my past 19years to say i do not love my parents, sister and brother.

i'm afraid, of the unknown. truly, i do not know what lies ahead, although i can hope, optimism or pessimism are but opinions of a fallen faculty of thought, i've felt much, too much in fact in the past few days, that i ought to take a breather from feelings and focus on brain power exercise, mental stress, and getting my facts into my head for MSTD.

night and out.

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