health

this reflection started out as a reflection on my health - with particular reference to my sleeping hours since i was and am still sleeping at weird hours and not usually clocking sufficient hours per day. but it strayed off to the point of natural reactions to our surroundings and the people around us; our nature.

i recalled that not too long ago i was once again reminded that from the first Adam who sinned, it is only in our very nature to sin too; rebel against the holy nature of God.
with conditioning/training from young with family, we might feel guilt when we lie, cheat, steal or basically sin.
but with reverse conditioning - when the rod ceases to fall and the nagging dwindles with age - it becomes evident that it is only natural for us to sin.

therefore i came to the conclusion that the immediate reaction to our negative circumstances, is always the easier way out.

the immediate reaction that results usually from anguish, anger or panick tends to be one that we regret. it's why we're taught from young to hold our tongue, and to be grow up - think before we act.

take for example - when a nagging parent chides a child about being unholy, being far away from God, and being a disgrace, it's natural that the child's ego is bruised, his emotions burn with hurt and to lash back in retort would be 2nd nature.
to respond with sniding remarks of how 'Godly' the parent is in judging, and hurting a child like this would certainly render a parent speechless either in hopelessness or in shock as an initial reaction.

but my point is this, it would be easy to lash back in the fashion, but it is hardly loving at all of the child to do so. sure parents have the upper hand, and it's a mandate given by the One who made the universe the way it is. i'm just not so sure we want to behave in our natural ways that one day all hell breaks loose simply because mankind acts solely upon the natural reaction to circumstances; that would make us no different from beasts of the wild.

some things aren't ever going to change...

it ain't going to change that i wasn't given a choice to leave the country for further studies.
it ain't going to change the fact that you let me go for my exchange stint with bitterness of the cost.
it ain't going to change that you said many things that upset me and you expect me to forget it all when you keep bringing them up yourself.
it doesn't fucking change that you can say anything you want to in any way cause you think all these things...

well fuck you and fuck all these things that you think.
i'm sick and tired of this shit.
i really am.

He is the answer to the question, the cure to the infection.
You give and take away, blessed be Your Name.

it's times like these i just wished You were physically present that i could hug you and take comfort in Your presence.
not that it's impossible, but if only.
i shall take comfort in Your word that all who are weary can seek rest under Your wings.

Teach me Lord daily that i am work-in-progress, and that i should not quit in this pursuit of goodness.

*hugs*

this week, i need to make some decisions, and i intend to make them soon.

something interesting i read

ever saw the parallel between a GPS unit and God's grace?

imagine this scenario:

you're driving with your GPS (although not really applicable in Singapore) and the GPS unit tells you to take a left.
you being the all-so-smart driver, feels that you should be taking the right, and therefore you proceed to do so.
the GPS unit then beeps out "recalculating - when safe to, execute a U-Turn"

you get irritated with the GPS unit, you decide to unplug it.

15mins later when you're as lost as a chicken running around without its head, you decide to plug the GPS unit back in.
you expect the voice to go "see what an idiot you've been? you should have listened to me from the start..."

but no, it goes "recalculating, when safe, execute a U-Turn"

that's my point. God allows U-Turns, and when you're ready to be obedient, He doesn't lash out at you with vehemence or sarcasm, but instead with loving tenderness, He continues to guide you on the way home.

are you ready to make that U-Turn?

cheers

sometimes life's lessons come quietly, other times it's a really loud bang.

today, i've understood one lesson, and it cost quite a lot, it will never be the same again, but that's precisely what the lesson is; it's a season for change!

"the only constant is change, just as the only certainty in life is death.."

deviation from the original purpose; perfectly exemplified by mankind.

we come up with our own idols, hobbies, whims and fancies, and we justify them with whatever reason or logic our finite minds can whip up.

at the crunch, decisions are tough, and whether or not they are wise ones, time will tell.

i'm lamenting, and i'm not sorry about it.

*decisions, decisions, and more decisions.

love in a time of exams

my personalized welfare consists of the following:

1 x Old Town White Coffee Packet of 15 sticks

1 x Wheel Potatoe snack

2 x Liang Teh

1 x pack of Pong Piah

i really feel loved =) *hugs*

life began when the Lord breathes the spirit of life into us.

even before the point of conception, He knew each of us dearly.

i don't know how far away you are from Him,

but i do know that He loves you very much.

an active decision is not a birthright, it is solely by His grace that we are bestowed with it.

cherish that gift, do not abuse it, and live the consequences, for one day we will all account to Him.

of⋅fi⋅cial

  [uh-fish-uhl] Show IPA

–noun

1.	a person appointed or elected to an office or charged with certain duties.

–adjective

2.	of or pertaining to an office or position of duty, trust, or authority: official powers.

3.	authorized or issued authoritatively: an official report.

4.	holding office.

5.	appointed or authorized to act in a designated capacity: an official representative.

6.	(of an activity or event) intended for the notice of the public and performed or held on behalf of officials or of an organization; formal: the official opening of a store.

7.	Pharmacology. noting drugs or drug preparations that are recognized by and that conform to the standards of theUnited States Pharmacopeia or the National Formulary.

51 days and counting.

so much has happened.
4th quarter already... eekz.
oh well, looking foward's better than looking backward only to realize that we haven't done much on our parts - but that doesn't discount looking back and reflecting on what's happened.

goals, visions, and dreams - here we come.

你最近不說話 怎么了 為什么
是不是有什么事讓你不快樂
听說你最近很孤單 有點亂 有點慌
可是我卻不能夠在你的身旁

你想要的 我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的 卻又不是你想要擁有的
我們不适合 也不想認輸
好几次我們抱著彼此都是想要哭

常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我覺得是所有的一切早已就結束
不想再約束不要再痛苦
下一次會有更好的情路

你最近不說話 怎么了 為什么
是不是有什么事讓你不快樂
听說你最近很孤單 有點亂 有點慌
可是我卻不能夠在你的身旁

你想要的 我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的 卻又不是你想要擁有的
我們不适合 也不想認輸
好几次我們抱著彼此都是想要哭

常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我覺得是所有的一切早就已結束
不想再約束不要再痛苦
下一次會有更好的情路

愛 我卻不能夠 給你我全部
我能給的 卻又不是你想要擁有的
你想要的 我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的 卻又不是你想要擁有的
我們不适合 也不想認輸
好几次我們抱著彼此都是想要哭

常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我覺得是所有的一切早已就結束
不想再約束不要再痛苦
下一次會有更好的情路

這一次我們都能很幸福

the truth hurts when we forget that we look upon ourselves too highly; when we stop thinking we're really that great, the truths would stop hurting.

i'm going home, to a place where i belong..

maybe someday i'll realise where that is.

ok i give up. the running away's tiring, and i'm coming home.
let's start with the basics once again.
20mins a day.
do's and don'ts of course are in the picture.

thanksgiving and supplication will be a must.
all glory be to You.

i've come to realise that when one listens hard enough to the voice of a man who's heart is for God, one catches on with that excitement; it's contagious, and it's appealing.

i serve a God, who is faithful and true
i will hide, in the shelter of Your wings
for i find my rest, in Your faithfulness,
yes i serve a faithful God.

²⁶In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

i'm wondering how mom reacted to the message on Sunday - i didn't expect her to go cause i had the idea she had to pop by the office for work, but it was a pleasant surprise to know she did go in the end. maybe i'll talk to her when she's back from Shanghai on the 1st.

religiousity.
familarity.

tsk tsk

leaders are in their preparation phase till they have a life changing encounter with Him.
that would mean we're always being prepared.

i wonder how many people do actually listen to the whole CD when they buy one, or do they keep repeating the slightly catchier ones, and really ignore the other slower, less prominent ones.

Two 'o clock and I wish that I was sleeping
You're in my head like a song on the radio
All I know is that I got to get next to you
Yeah I got to get next to you
Sitting here turning minutes into hours
To find the nerve just to call you on the telephone
You don't know that I got to get next to you

[Chorus]
Maybe were friends
Maybe were more
Maybe it's just my imagination
But I see you stare just a little too long
And it makes me start to wonder
So baby call me crazy
But I think you feel it too
Maybe I, Maybe I
Just got to get next to you

I asked around and I heard that you were talking
Told my girl that you thought I was out of your league
What a fool, I got to get next to you, whoa
Yeah it's five in the morning and I can't go to sleep
'Cause I wish, yeah I wish that you knew what you mean to me
Baby let's get together and end this mystery, oh

i just got back from a wake.

"i've not attended many of my friends' weddings, and i've clocked the first funeral"

the cremation service's in 10hours time, and although we weren't close, there were lessons to be learnt.

any death is an appropriate occasion for 2 things:

1. to mourn the death of a loved one; that person definitely had someone who loved him/her, and he/she definitely loved others.

2. to be joyous that he/she is going home to another who loves him/her more than we ever could; that's with the assumption that the person did know the Lord, and had accepted Him to be the saviour - question to ask then: what are we doing to make sure that this point doesn't turn out to be N.A (Not Applicable)?

yes, cry! we should. those tears deserve to fall, and those hearts ought to ache.
but yes sing! and know that the love you have for her would pale in comparison to how much the Lord loves her.

a feast has been prepared for her upon her return, after having been away for her life here on earth; just as parents prepare the fattened calf for the child who's been away for extended periods, what more our Father in heaven?

thank you friend for your friendship, although we never met till today. my only consolation to that, is that i would one day see you in the kingdom that is from everlasting to everlasting. till then, do what you were created to do; praise Him =)