ok i give up. the running away's tiring, and i'm coming home.
let's start with the basics once again.
20mins a day.
do's and don'ts of course are in the picture.

thanksgiving and supplication will be a must.
all glory be to You.

i've come to realise that when one listens hard enough to the voice of a man who's heart is for God, one catches on with that excitement; it's contagious, and it's appealing.

i serve a God, who is faithful and true
i will hide, in the shelter of Your wings
for i find my rest, in Your faithfulness,
yes i serve a faithful God.

²⁶In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

i'm wondering how mom reacted to the message on Sunday - i didn't expect her to go cause i had the idea she had to pop by the office for work, but it was a pleasant surprise to know she did go in the end. maybe i'll talk to her when she's back from Shanghai on the 1st.

religiousity.
familarity.

tsk tsk

leaders are in their preparation phase till they have a life changing encounter with Him.
that would mean we're always being prepared.

i wonder how many people do actually listen to the whole CD when they buy one, or do they keep repeating the slightly catchier ones, and really ignore the other slower, less prominent ones.

Two 'o clock and I wish that I was sleeping
You're in my head like a song on the radio
All I know is that I got to get next to you
Yeah I got to get next to you
Sitting here turning minutes into hours
To find the nerve just to call you on the telephone
You don't know that I got to get next to you

[Chorus]
Maybe were friends
Maybe were more
Maybe it's just my imagination
But I see you stare just a little too long
And it makes me start to wonder
So baby call me crazy
But I think you feel it too
Maybe I, Maybe I
Just got to get next to you

I asked around and I heard that you were talking
Told my girl that you thought I was out of your league
What a fool, I got to get next to you, whoa
Yeah it's five in the morning and I can't go to sleep
'Cause I wish, yeah I wish that you knew what you mean to me
Baby let's get together and end this mystery, oh

i just got back from a wake.

"i've not attended many of my friends' weddings, and i've clocked the first funeral"

the cremation service's in 10hours time, and although we weren't close, there were lessons to be learnt.

any death is an appropriate occasion for 2 things:

1. to mourn the death of a loved one; that person definitely had someone who loved him/her, and he/she definitely loved others.

2. to be joyous that he/she is going home to another who loves him/her more than we ever could; that's with the assumption that the person did know the Lord, and had accepted Him to be the saviour - question to ask then: what are we doing to make sure that this point doesn't turn out to be N.A (Not Applicable)?

yes, cry! we should. those tears deserve to fall, and those hearts ought to ache.
but yes sing! and know that the love you have for her would pale in comparison to how much the Lord loves her.

a feast has been prepared for her upon her return, after having been away for her life here on earth; just as parents prepare the fattened calf for the child who's been away for extended periods, what more our Father in heaven?

thank you friend for your friendship, although we never met till today. my only consolation to that, is that i would one day see you in the kingdom that is from everlasting to everlasting. till then, do what you were created to do; praise Him =)

my wishlist for 2009: (dreams are free; thus some of these items are appearing on this list)

1.ProMedia GMX A-2.1
2.Yamaha R6
3. Nikon D300 - w/ 17-55mm F2.8 Nikor
4. SB900
5. a new Mezz
6. Predator PB2
and finaly...
7. a white christmas

the ploy unfolds. and when it does, the comprehension actually terrifies me.
knowledge is power, and with it comes responsibility.

i ain't so sure i'm ready for such weight on my shoulders.

time and space are 2 things i hope to talk to You about one day, i cannot imagine what it would be like without them, but it serves to remind me that You are You, and i'm ... simply me.

haha. thank You for being You.

i honestly don't think you know what you're doing to me.

take my word for it when i say you're majorly pissing me off.

back off!

-character moulding; don't make me give up, i swear i would one day if this carries on-

Lord, i pray for:

Peace: 

to guard the hearts of your people who are going through this economic meltdown. twice today the news was updated, and it's scary. the way companies are slashing their workforce.

Healing:

in the families that are going through a rough patch, whatever the reasons might be, known or unknown to others and themselves, but definitely known to You, i pray you comfort them as they draw strength from You.

Love:

to overcome bitterness, tears, and harsh words that might roll from their tongue. may it together with Your Holy Spirit that resides in them be victorious over all unloving thoughts, actions and words. 

and last but not least,

Faith:

for those who are still taking exams, or haven't started yet for that matter. When the going gets tough, let them look to you faith knowing that since You've brought them to it, You would bring them through it. for a special friend who's very uncertain of his future that are anchored on his grades, i pray You teach him that with You, all things are possible. 

Amen.

playing with fire

i don't understand why people do the things they do sometimes, like how i don't understand why i do the things i choose to do at times.
it hurts, it's painful, and it's... plain stupid.

all this messing around's getting nowhere. no where at all.
God help me.

plans are but fragments of your imagination until they're concretized in history by action.

i've got plans, do i have the cement or the ink to put them down in history?

i sure hope so.

honestly i'm already thinking of the next semester when i ain't even done with my current exams. why is my mind straying?

argh... it's another 72 hours away.. tick tock tick tock. 

painfully slowly, yet a little too quickly for my comfort. 

i'm confused. i think i am. am i?

ok i feel like i'm speaking into a mirror, this is weird by the current circumstances, but it wasn't too long ago that i used to do this quite often eh? not literally, i meant talking to myself; thinking.

the list - got a name?

thus far what's been conquered:

1. Crystal jade steamboat buffet - the beef was yummy.. along with the seasame paste!

2. "Chin Chin" pork chop. haha.

3. Pasta Brava - wasn't too good, but oh well, nice ambience - a little confused though.

what lies ahead:

1. western jap fusion at peace centre - 7 course meal

2. jap buffet at suki - more for the raw salmon.

the uncanny coincidence is... 

somewhat scary.

God help me.

whenever i hear the screams rise up to the heavens, 

the same tingle always shoots down my spine. 

it makes the glands work and they flow,

whether or not i allow them to by choice.

it tells me one thing. 

i was made this way, for a reason.

to be in reverence, to fear, and to obey.

what in the world am i doing messing up my life like this?

i was sipping my coffee

came along a young boy, he couldn't have been more than 3.

he climbed up the chair to settle in whilst his mother got in line for toast and coffee too.

people walked by, and they were charmed by him.

it was easily a crowd of 5 ladies and more.

i re-learnt something from this.

one reason why people go goo-goo ga-ga over kids, 

is because they realise inside themselves, 

that this living being is still soaked with innocence, 

un-tainted by schemes, 

un-tarnished by lies, mistrust and pain.

it doesn't stop there.

look back beyond the picture, and ask who painted it.

He meant for life to be beautiful and it is.

so quit being angry, unsatisfied, and grumpy. start living.

life is beautiful.

if our greatest need had been information, 

God would have sent us an educator.

 

if our greatest need had been money, 

God would have sent us an economist. 

if our greatest need had been technology, 

God would have sent us a scientist. 

but our greatest need is forgiveness,

so God sent us a saviour. 

in any confrontation, there are two options. fight or flight.

tonight i've learnt that there is a 3rd option. it's called making peace. 

it's tough to swallow, but once you hit that button/make the decision to do so, an overpowering sense of peace overwhelms you. and that's followed by a warming sensation in your heart when the peace is reciprocated. 

i do understand that the second part must not be taken for granted because not everyone would react the same way, but nevertheless it's the first part that matters, because if you don't have peace with your Maker, the other reasons for existing then don't suffice anymore.

The Dark Knight

after catching it yesterday, i realised why we're awed by some stories and not too excited by others.

in some way or another, these stories are results of individuals - their authors - sitting quietly in their times; observing the people around them, as their source of inspiration for characters, therefore, so long there are people around, we would always be able to identify with the freaks and heroes of the plot, because they're all present within us.

the morale dilemas, the weird decisions that some deem right and others wrong, are all debate topics of which there would be no conclusion, because we argue with the limited understanding we have. in times like this, i look up and remember The Artist of all the great works, and i smile to myself; grateful, humbled and at peace.

the session wasn't expected, but it was appreciated. i could tell some really missed the human contact, not over poker cards or mahjong tiles, but when souls connect because we lower our guard and pride, and realise that there is no need for either in such a setting. 

in scarcity there is value.

kudos to you all. amigos.

it's been a while. and no i'm not going to update. it'll still be sporadic updates. and no i don't really care who's reading. hahaha. it's comical thinking about these things i do, but then again, they're torturous. cheers you all out there =)