whenever i hear the screams rise up to the heavens, 

the same tingle always shoots down my spine. 

it makes the glands work and they flow,

whether or not i allow them to by choice.

it tells me one thing. 

i was made this way, for a reason.

to be in reverence, to fear, and to obey.

what in the world am i doing messing up my life like this?

i was sipping my coffee

came along a young boy, he couldn't have been more than 3.

he climbed up the chair to settle in whilst his mother got in line for toast and coffee too.

people walked by, and they were charmed by him.

it was easily a crowd of 5 ladies and more.

i re-learnt something from this.

one reason why people go goo-goo ga-ga over kids, 

is because they realise inside themselves, 

that this living being is still soaked with innocence, 

un-tainted by schemes, 

un-tarnished by lies, mistrust and pain.

it doesn't stop there.

look back beyond the picture, and ask who painted it.

He meant for life to be beautiful and it is.

so quit being angry, unsatisfied, and grumpy. start living.

life is beautiful.

if our greatest need had been information, 

God would have sent us an educator.

 

if our greatest need had been money, 

God would have sent us an economist. 

if our greatest need had been technology, 

God would have sent us a scientist. 

but our greatest need is forgiveness,

so God sent us a saviour. 

in any confrontation, there are two options. fight or flight.

tonight i've learnt that there is a 3rd option. it's called making peace. 

it's tough to swallow, but once you hit that button/make the decision to do so, an overpowering sense of peace overwhelms you. and that's followed by a warming sensation in your heart when the peace is reciprocated. 

i do understand that the second part must not be taken for granted because not everyone would react the same way, but nevertheless it's the first part that matters, because if you don't have peace with your Maker, the other reasons for existing then don't suffice anymore.

The Dark Knight

after catching it yesterday, i realised why we're awed by some stories and not too excited by others.

in some way or another, these stories are results of individuals - their authors - sitting quietly in their times; observing the people around them, as their source of inspiration for characters, therefore, so long there are people around, we would always be able to identify with the freaks and heroes of the plot, because they're all present within us.

the morale dilemas, the weird decisions that some deem right and others wrong, are all debate topics of which there would be no conclusion, because we argue with the limited understanding we have. in times like this, i look up and remember The Artist of all the great works, and i smile to myself; grateful, humbled and at peace.

the session wasn't expected, but it was appreciated. i could tell some really missed the human contact, not over poker cards or mahjong tiles, but when souls connect because we lower our guard and pride, and realise that there is no need for either in such a setting. 

in scarcity there is value.

kudos to you all. amigos.

it's been a while. and no i'm not going to update. it'll still be sporadic updates. and no i don't really care who's reading. hahaha. it's comical thinking about these things i do, but then again, they're torturous. cheers you all out there =)

i'm going to admit i'm sick of it.

morning sleep. constant drags. aimless-ness.

need a drive. need to drive.

maybe i'll ride up to say hello.

maybe maybe maybe.

so many unknowns. 

yes you can tell i'm sick of it all.

i re-learnt a truth by speaking it to a friend.

the sure thing to happen whenever approaching an issue/problem/matter, would be an initial stage of awkwardness.

if you don't accept that within yourself, and therefore not prepare yourself for it, when it starts to feel awkward, it impedes moving on into handling the matter as appropriate. 

therefore, i'm going to log it down in my mind that every new experience, every quarrel, and every problem is going to make me feel uneasy, but it ain't going to stop me. 

it sure feels queasy though. *shrugs*

sure, the hand holding to join dots that form letters was an interesting experience.

yes i do agree the whole affair does slow things down, let's you watch the ants crawl, or squirrels climb trees. it allows you to realise once again that the birds do chirp, and the insects do make funny noises.

the sound of pattering feet when the keys jingle in the door.

the solving of a great mystery by trying all that used to work only to realise that this unique sound is for that particular want, i bet it's an achievement in itself.

good to have, not a must have. 

i'm not ready to think whether it's what i want.

the time isn't now.

do you have a reason for that tingling feeling one tends to have after watching a romance comedy that Hollywood somehow manages to make you believe that a "happy ever after ending" is possible in a short span of 120mins?

i've come to believe the time isn't now.

we need to talk. yes. now.

I FOUND IT!!!!!!!!

Pilot fountain pen! they stopped production for the original model, but now they come in petite sizes, and refills! woooo hoooo!! hahahahaha

i'm re-starting to write, think, and read more. 

if you ever find my book, do not read it. i'm serious. you wouldn't understand it unless you were a worm in my head. hahahaha

"When will you be home?" she asks
as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
SIlver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
ohh...
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away 

till i read the lyrics word for word, i didn't know she sang of mama. 

mama.. one of the first few syllabi an infant learns to annunciate.

to hold back one you love, 

would be to stab yourself repeatedly.

that's what i feel.

what do you think?

lie to anyone, but yourself.

if you can live with that, let me know, i would like to talk to you.

i'm done with this.

You can have it all.

cause enough's enough.

freedom and responsibility.

boundaries and property lines.

soul.

honesty is a bedrock.

man.. how do these people write such amazing things?

*someone turns on the light*

ahhh... no wonder.

"This is the verdict: light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instaead of light because their deeds were evil. everone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light, for fear that his deeds will be exposed. but whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has beeen done through God" John 3:19-21

a merchant;

unsure of the terms of trade.

"so i'll trade THIS....

for THAT...deal?"

sure. 

in dreamland.

when you see a beautiful painting, 

you tend to ask,

"who painted this?"

do you seek to know This painter?

Romans 6:1-3

What shall we say then? 

Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? 

By no means! 

How can we do died to sin still live in it? 

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptised into his death?

houston we have take'off..

let's just hope the flight plan gets trasmitted.
i'm pretty sure it's been completed for one thing.