clean hands or dirty hands,
(courtesy of swee lee's Paiste cymbal cleaning solution)

brown eyes or blue,
(yours are beautiful)

straight hair or curly hair,
(it doesn't matter whether you comb it or otherwise, it's lovely)

Jesus loves you.
(** ** *)

technically, if i were speaking to a queen's father, who would i be speaking to?

well, would you be my queen elizabeth? =)

to the land of the thai i must go, for a time with family that's much deserved. but once again i'm reminded of the fact that i am human, because i face the disappointment of being unable to be in two places at one time. yes i am going up north, but i wished i were going east.

i'll be back soon, and i hope to wrap up this year really nicely. maybe 2 more sunrises, 3 more strolls from college, 4 more conversations that last till early morning, and many more days of faith, hope and love to come. what say you? =)

a life story is made up of many smaller and shorter stories within it, thus like the fullstop at the end of this sentence, move on i must upon finality of the last chapter.

and the air crackled with joyous anticipation...

people crack jokes,
mom did every now and then.
life did so too,
and it went on too.
i kracked,
and life will go on.

for those of you who're feeling it, and thinking it's weird, i'm sorry. i just need this time to myself.
i need to breathe, i need to think, and i need to be alone. thanks.

and the tale will begin at 1741.
the advance call,
the first appearance,
the salutations, followed by the inspection,
the march past,
the blessings,
the presentations and address,
the pledge taking,
the declaration,
handing over of colours,
and the march off.
after which we come back on for the affixing of epaulettes,
then the toss of head dress.

for those who are wondering why i didn't blog for so long, it was cause i was confined for two weeks. yeah and i can't blog from camp, although i have internet. haha.

oh well, it's been rehearsals everyday, along with some activities that we do as a cohort. 370 people doing things together, indeed cumbersome.

thankful for all the ACPC rehearsals that the army wings had, because MIDS and AIR were excused since we're from a different service. gave us little breathers here and there.

it's down to the last 5 days of rehearsals, and then the actual thing on sat. that's all folks huh. 9 months, or rather 38 weeks, and it doesn't end here. in fact it's the start of more to come.

true indeed, and i ain't sure i'm ready for it. i've been drilled for the past year to be a trainee, a cadet, a low life correction no life midshipmen. so yeah, suddenly with the commissioning i'm expected to behave and act the way my instructors for the past 40 weeks or so have been showing us. i ain't exactly enthusiastic to do so, since most of their walks ain't exactly what they walk about.


well, it's the last book in.
early dinner,
rest,
and it's probably the last time i'm going to have to don the white long sleeve shirt and black pants to move in and outta camp. so well =)

i'm having mood swings, so leave me alone..

and we walked on water..

give me another lifetime, and another chance at this, and i would have still chosen to spend the evening with you. returning the books together, having dinner together, and walking home together. i would, i really would.

i guess the idea of mambo night never did and never will appeal. thank God.

caught in the middle of a decision that can go two ways..

knowing what you want in future now moulds the present that shapes the future..


and it's not about having what i want, it's about wanting what i have and need.

i need you to be happy.

rejection in it's own subtle ways.

i was snubbed and it wasn't pleasant. the sheer coincidence and conclusion is amusing but upsetting too. leave me alone..

"sometimes the best even by all members of a team ain't enough, because a team that does not perform, will cease to be a team in a matter of time."

drained. tired. and just wanna get it over and done with lah.

i want to stand tall on those two occassions, i really do, but the time and way you've put it across, i'm put of by it now. i truly am.

"desecrated, putrid, and defiled thou soul hast becometh...
prevaricated, a canard, and a sham is what your life is.."

what a sad state anything can come to, and yet it has to be that greater things might come to past. on a brighter note, at least i know i ain't defenceless against this onslaught and suffocating intoxication. i've got a my battle plan ready, and it's time to move from inside the ramp on to the beach for war..

Lord, let it to now, today, that the silver show the truth, that the scales fall, and that the heart and soul be broken that it might be contrite. broken only can you teach, then do what's necessary. make that difference happen my King, and 3 fortnights from now, we shall see the advancement of thy troops marching as planned, with heads held high, proud to be wearing armour that bears your emblem burnt deep into their souls. may we have Your blessings for we ask these in His name. Amen.

i feel my some parts of my brain are morphing into tiny little white elephants. i feel... unused. not that i yearned to be manipulated, but to be put through thought process about things that i want to think about and not what i have to think about like AOPs and RCPs and CAOS and all that crap. sigh.

20/40

just in case you're wondering that's the number of days to the end of course and parade day respectively.

i'm home, but i'm going out soon again.. where's that kid?

the fact that i linked both the issues together probably means that the initial reaction's more than just making a new friend? -----> no.

my link was the tugging of what she would think. frankly if knowing her's going to jeopardize what i've got with her thus far, i rather forgo the potential friendship. i know what i know deep down in my heart.

i believe you're worth it.