November Rain

oldie to me, although i ain't that young, and they ain't that old.
well, had dinner with godma, teowhin and joyce, had a nice evening.

england's playing, but i don't feel like watching.
i'm tired, i'm going to bed.

i finished TDB, moving on to My Utmost for His Highest. hope it's sufficient material for input.

i'm disappointed that it's the second week in a row i failed trying, but oh well, it happens for a reason, and i guess i'm to be blamed. no qualms.

night earth

hey hey people back home, i'm updating my posts from heaven. it's great up here. i get to talk to God and listen to the angels, the computers here are really much better than the ones back at home.. and the best part, we never feel tired up here... etc etc..

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hmmm... ok, i'm day dreaming. but i really wonder what it's like up there, and i hope i go to God in my sleep.

well, i played pool for 3 solid hours yesterday, may have been slightly longer, but that's it for pool for now, at least till the A levels. - have to find other ways to destress from now till the A's are over; probably movies and books.

as a result, my right knee was hurting like mad, and i had to ice it when i got home. this is quite bad. i'm 18, and i'm going for NS soon, and i have a knee like that.. tsk tsk.. hope it'll heal prior to my entry, through God's healing and rest.

i just had breakfast with my dad and brother, mom's attending her course. got to complete at least one math paper before i go to church later on, i think i'll attempt the TPJC one.

- well, hopes and dreams are what keeps up going.. do dream on people, and keep on hoping.. =)

ok, prior to this entry, i was messing around with my layout, and i kinda screwed up my html.

that suffice as reason number 1 of 2 to change my URL.
the other reason is cause someone found my previous link through another friend. no worries to you, but yeah, you know my preference, so please respect it =) you're still loved very much.

i spent 1 hour clearing up the mess that the post mortem of the prelim's created. it's quite disgusting, but at least tonight i've got a full study table to work with. and since i slept from 3-6plus, i'm going to sleep at earliest 1230. i need to do lotsa stuff anyway.

probably add another entry later, got to rush off for dinner now. ciao.

i hope i didn't just screw up my blog.

i could only pray for you, and yes i want to =)

i hope you would give unto the Lord your apprehension, distrust, and the whole problem if possible. haha, hope the day your own magic works for yourself comes soon =)

ok, maybe it was too early for a good night afterall, but hey, i'm entittled to this glee and the cherubim smile i have within me at this point in time right? =p

i'm really thankful i can seek solace in Your Word.
hmmm.. i'm feeling much more peaceful now, as compared to just now right after my shower, when i was really ready to erupt. but it wouldn't have done much good anyway, so yeah, i'm thankful i chose to walk away after punching my fist into my other palm. that sufficed for then.

hmmm.. many j1s would be taking their promos tomorrow, and i'm praying for my friends.
hope your eye swell has recovered.
well, to all those still taking exams, or going to take them this coming week, i wish you all the best, do your best and He will do the rest =)

i took my medicine, and i've got only 1.5 hours of lessons tomorrow. so i'm going to bed now.
goodnight to you, and world.

if i counted correctly, the last 4 times she speaks, it's always recieved with negative feelings on my end.
why?!?!?!? arGh!!!!!!!!!!!
late afternoon yesterday, she starts.
early this morning in the car, there she goes again.
it's already evening on sunday, and i would have expected a day in church to dispel all this angst in her, no, she goes at it the very moment she wakes up from her afternoon nap. gosh.

i really wanted to talk to her later on this evening, but i don't think i'm going to do so now.
it's just so... wrong... to do it at this time now.

Gosh~!
-roy lamented.

cough drop OD. with a flu tablet.
hope i sleep peacefully tonight.

i'm tired.
i cannot confirm whether it's 33 days left, but i don't care for now. i want to sleep.

goodnight world, and to you, yeah, you too. night.

i got my shure e2c's. they're babies, and they're good babies =) hahahaha
can you tell i'm a happy boy? i'm telling you i am =p
i got my new Remo drum pad to practise on too. hoping to improve.
34days to A levels.

36 days.

mooncakes are nice, but i could do away with the racket that the GRC gathering downstairs's causing.
i've got half a TJC p1 left, and 2 new DRQs. should i attempt to finish everything tonight? i seriously need help with my math..

i got back most of my prelim results on the first day of school. haha.
they aren't fantastic, but i've made improvement, and i'm really thankful for my Math grade. =)

thus far, i've got:
B4 for GP,
D for econs,
aO for math,
and my physics grade is unknown as of today.

haha, it's not pretty, but to me, it's a good start, of the 37 days left to my A levels. cool huh. =)
well, we'll see what God can do in thus short a time, with a willing soul (hopefully =p)

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wah, jie mei's camera just spoilt, cause someone dropped it, *ouch*
but i seriously think you should get the one that Ne got. she got it at $1299, and you're getting it at $599, if i were you, i would grab it. it's like what? 4Megapixel? that's more than enough for me man.. i'm not shutterbug, so yeah.

well, here's the homework list for today.
1. TJC math paper 1
2. J2002 Econs P2, Drq Qn 1 on belgium and it's economy.

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oh yeah, i'm getting my allowance this friday, and this is what i plan to spend on for this month. it sets me back quite a bit, but hey, for quality of my music, why not man?

http://www.shure.com/earphones/images/e2c_big.jpg

hahahah.. till laters people =)

question of the day: should one be allowed to feel sad from time to time?

if you have an answer to this, share it with me?
i'm caught in this cycle, and i'm getting quite sick of it.
happy out of home, and upset in it.
realised i used home and not house? it's still cause i know something's wrong.
there used to be warmth, love, and a looking-forwardness to home, the smell of it, the feel of it.

-a selfish streak
-a can't be bothered attitude
-playing too much
-sleeeping too much

just some of the topics the nagging's been going on and on for and about.
come on, if it ain't there, they won't nagging.
i have come to terms with that, but i don't understand, and so i have yet to come to terms with other things.

it's been like that when i'm close to You, it's also been like that when you're so far away.
so which is better off?
i haven't been speaking to You the whole of this week, is this why all these is happening? but it happens even when i'm talking to You practically every segment of the day. so what's up?

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then:
*finger points* Look at your brother, learn from him, he's so caring, so loving, yada yada..

now:
*finger points* Look your YOUR brother, learn from HIM, HE's so caring, considerate, yada yada.. what happened to YOU?

you get the flow?
let me attempt to explain.
in the former ten years ago, the finger was pointed at me.
in the latter, now, the finger is pointed at my brother.

i admit, i've grown up, to be a different boy from who i used to be.

i don't think of others like i used to think of asking josie to the table to join us for dinner.
i don't exercise my initiative to hang the clothes, mop the floor, or water the plants for that matter.
i've lost that angelic innocence.
i've gained my PSLE results, O level results, and grade 8 distinction in my piano.
i've gained a whole lot of pride in myself, haughtiness, condescension upon others.
i've learnt to satisfy myself before others, and i claim i've learnt to love over the past few relationships i've had, but in retrospect, it's bullshit, with the exception of Julia.

so what if i bother to open up doors for girls? or make sure they get home safely? or let them up the escalator or the bus before i do? it surmounts to ziltch. look at it in this light, what's often termed as "desireable" by others, can be actions simply acted out without the heart in it. the devil knows the entire bible, he knows God even better than i do, but he ain't got the heart, that's why he's who he is.
- this is reason number 1 why i'm so thankful i don't reciprocate the feelings that the poor innocent girl has for me. she doesn't know me, and i'm glad she doesn't.

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only with confession does worship follow suit after a calamity.
realignment can only take place when the recognition for the need to do so is born.
i want to, yes i'm making a choice.
God help me with it. this i beg of you. yes i do.

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the ecstasy of the flesh throws the mind into a fumble, and in turn leads the spirit along with the temple into wayward deeds. steer thyself away from what tempts, unless it is in line with what the Holy Spirit prompts. gorge out your eye if it's what causes you to sin. hold your tongue if it's what causes hurt, and remain silent till words of wisdom, love, assurance and edification is poured forth from the very same tongue.
Love will triumph over all, good and evil.
Amen.

gosh.. whee!~

hahaha, i wonder whether this glee is ever going to be justified.
hMmmmm.. hahahahahahahaha.... ~!~!~! =p

good night people, and all the best to all taking physics prac tomorrow.

The Calling - Wherever you wil go

it doesn't take any more than 2 rejections flat in the face for an ego to feel flatten.
right, it wasn't their faults that they were busy, and had to rush off, yes, and i ain't blaming anyone. i'm just feeling... well.. rejected.

i read this off someone's nick, and i thought it was really insightful.
"when you recieve an insult, top it. if you can't top it, laugh it off. well, if you can't even laugh it off, it's probably deserved."

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gosh.. tempers flying again.. darn it.
what a turn off.

a skin of copper
a sky of grey
a curtain of white
and a heart of gloom

miscommunication. sigh, i'm upset because of that. thankfully none of them read this.
gosh..
Lord i ask that you seek my motive and correct me if i habour wrong intentions for wanting to do what i did. i'm at a loss, teach me, and guide me Lord.

i've been writing alot, so much so that i'm actually quite shocked how i'm able to finish a long tube of pelikan blue ink in a week. need to get a refill. i think the uncle will be darn shocked too.

well, most of my writing has been actually my conversations with God, and my thoughts. so in a way, i've been talking alot too.

it's 2 days to my unofficial end of my prelims. i think i'm going to screw up big time, but with God's grace, i'll pull through.

i think i'm posting here cause i know there're people out there who read, and care, but i'm sorry, i can't tell you all in words like that. if you need my assurance, i'm doing well, and i'm actually very good =) thanks to God.

i'm still looking around for a leather bound journal, anyone know where i could get it? in singapore that is.
please please please let me know if you do have resources. thank you.

i'm so bloated, from the Macs dinner i just had, and the large mug of chinese tea i had. haha. hmmm.. it's econs paper1 and 2 tomorrow, shall go revise now, although i'm more worried about my math paper2. tsk tsk.. *anxiety kicks in* and i kick it out of the window, nah. i hand it to God =) thank You.

for those of you who think He's but a servant whom i go to for my woes and troubles and things like that, you have no idea what great fun we're having together. don't understate the value of something you cannot comprehend. =)

took out the music, changed the layout, let me know what you think of it yeah?

i think sometimes things get too complicated in the midst of we trying to make it simple. want an example? take a statistical analysis for example. who actually needed to know all those figures and pie charts and fractions? i sure didn't need to.

good night people for now.

What do you call collectively,
That the eye can see,
heads turning to appreciate beauty as she walks down the streets,
That the ear can hear,
the majesty of children all singing praises unto Him that send a warm tingle down your spine,
That the nose can smell,
the whiff of mother's love from the kitchen as i step home,
That the tongue can taste,
the sweetness of sugar in the richness of coffee,
That our skin should feel,
the millions of messages our bodies tell each other in a unified tone of a hug that's long overdue?
i call it God's love for me.